Hell Hath no Fury
by 0Zerotolerence
Summary: Suicide is always hard. But a certain girl found it quite easy to commit to the act. Then the Devil himself offers her a job. One she simply can't refuse. (TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide. Rating has been changed to Mature for harsh language and sexual themes. No actual sex willl be present in the story. Based off the YouTube short, Welcome to Hell.)
1. Welcome to Hell

**Author's Note: This story is inspired by two works. The first is the YouTube short, Welcome to Hell, and the second is the Lapidot story, "Angel", by thisismysecretidentity. Like always, I hope you enjoy my writing, and don't hesitate to leave a review. :3**

 **This IS a Lapidot story. I normally wasn't going to make it romantic, but it's hard for me to stay away from that stuff. xD**

* * *

Darkness.

That was all that this girl saw when she opened her blue eyes. Everywhere she looked from where she lay, on her back, all she saw was a black void.

The girl is wearing a blue hoodie, patched in a few places on the front, her hood covering her light brown hair. Her shoes were black, and she wore no pants, only a sea green skirt. Anyone who looked at her would say that she had no fashion sense. She didn't care, though. It was what she felt comfortable in.

Oddly enough, instead of feeling scared, or paranoid, the girl felt an odd calm swirling in her core. Being here, in this darkness.. It felt natural, as if she belonged here.

Even feeling at home in such a dark place, she didn't dare move to sit, or stand. The girl felt that if she were to move, even an inch, and she would wake up from a dream.

But in the back of her mind, she knew.. She knew that she was here to stay.

In her thoughts, she failed to realize that someone had come to stand over her.

This someone is a rather thin man. He was tall as well, and some might describe him as lanky. He wore a crimson red suit over a white, buttoned down undershirt and a red tie. His pants were crimson as well, but faded to black as near the bottom, along with his shoes.

His hair is a ginger red, his bangs spiking up in the front in a triangular shape. His sideburns looked similar to his hair style, and his beard was pointed.

The feature about the man that stood out the most to the girl was that his eyes were a bright yellow. It was as if she were staring into a living fire in the form of a human.

Though she was surprised, she showed no signs of being so. Even this man's appearance seemed entirely normal to her. Even in this darkness, where she was only able to see this man, though he had no light about him, the girl was calm.

The man smirked down at the girl, his expression snide, but.. somehow kind. He opened his mouth, and confirmed the girl's suspicions about where she was.

"Welcome to Hell."

* * *

The girl stood at the top of a hill, shovel in hand. The moon is high in the sky, and the girl is in the process of digging a grave.

This girl's name.. is Lapis. And she just killed her parents. In her sleep.

Normally, most people would be fairly traumatized to find out that they sleep murdered their parents, but Lapis wasn't most people.

Growing up, she's had an indescribable urge to kill things, anything, such as rats, birds, dogs, people.. Of course she never killed a person until tonight. You could say she had some minor homicidal tendencies.

No, she wasn't bothered by what she did to her parents. What bothered her most was what she would have to do next.

Lapis stuck the shovel in the ground beside the headstone at the head of the grave. Two more graves were already dug up and filled with her parent's bodies, Mom and Dad inscribed on them respectively. And the third, empty grave.. well, who else could it be meant for?

Lapis stood in front of her grave, her back facing the hole. From the pocket of her hoodie, she pulled out a pocket knife. Lapis flipped open the blade, sighing as she took in the sight of the shining metal.

"Never thought I'd meet you at the business end, pal." She said to her blade, smiling solemnly. She sighed, twiddling the blade of knife between her fingers.

"So.. Last words?" Lapis asked herself. "Eulogy? Nah.. I guess it doesn't matter." She chuckled and closed her eyes, waving her blade in the air. "Not like anyone's here to hear me."

With that thought, she turned her knife, and drove the blade into her chest.

* * *

"Need a hand?"

The red haired man asked, putting his hand out for Lapis to take.

"Uh, sure." Lapis replied nonchalantly. She took the man's hand. "Thank you, mister."

The man helped Lapis to her feet, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He began to lead her forward, in no viewable direction due to the darkness surrounding them.

"You're a special case, Lazuli." The man said, and Lapis made no attempt to even try and be surprised that he knew her last name. If she really was in Hell, then of course he would know.

"How about we step in my office and talk about why you're here."

As he said these words, Lapis suddenly found that the world around her was no longer dark. Instead, it was a bright white. And it was a singular, rather small room.

The man went to lean on his desk, which was in front of many different file cabinets. Except, the cabinets were so incredibly tall that it was impossible to see the top.

"Take a seat." The man ordered, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.

Lapis did as instructed and sat. She looked up at the standing man, subconsciously wondering if any of this was real. But she knew it was.

"Do you know why you're here, Miss Lazuli?" The man asked, looking down at Lapis with a grin.

"I killed my parents.." Lapis answered with no hesitation. She knew what she did, though she did feel a tad awkward talking about it. "Killed myself.."

"Yeah, I'd kill my parents too if they named me 'Lapis'. Seriously, who names their kid after a gemstone?" He asked no one in particular, inspecting his nails.

"I like it.." Lapis admitted. She thought her name was unique. It made her feel like she was one of a kind, which really, she was. Especially considering the circumstances.

"Where's all the brimstone and fire?" Lapis asked. "Why am I not being tortured as we speak, suffering for all eternity?" She waved her arms in front of her, getting this pained look on her face to add a bit of drama to her words. The man just laughed and started walking to a door at the opposite side of the room.

"Oh, don't seem so desperate, kid. I have an offer for you."

"Oh." Lapis smiled, turning in her seat to face backwards, resting her arms on the back of the chair. "You mean like a deal with the devi-"

"A _**job**_ offer." The man interrupted, turning to look at Lapis. "Come off it, Lazuli, I already have your soul, you think I'm gonna challenge you to a fiddle contest or something?"

"Truth is, kiddo, you remind me of myself." The man admitted, walking back to his desk. He opened his filing cabinet, and the drawer kept coming and coming out of it's slot. It reminded Lapis of that scene from Bruce Almighty.

"I remind you of yourself?" She asked, turning back around in her chair. "But you're.."

"Mephistopheles." The man said, raising a finger as he sifted through his files. "Call me Mephistopheles. Or Mephisto, if that suits ya."

Lapis smiled, leaning forward. She rested her elbows on Mephisto's desk, her chin in her hand.

"Well if we're gonna be 'buddy-buddy' about this.." She started. "You can just call me Lapis."

"Alright Lazuli.." Mephisto stood after retrieving the file he was looking for. The file cabinet closed automatically as he sat down in front of Lapis. "Lapis it is."

"Anyway.." Mephisto started, placing the file on his desk. "I'm currently in the process of renovating Hell, and everything outside has pretty much gone to.. well, Hell."

Mephisto opened the file for Lapis. On the right side of the file was a picture and information on a girl named Peridot Olivine.

From the picture, Peridot was a rather attractive girl. She was blonde, and her hair was practically a mess. Despite it being a lot of hair, it seemed to stand up in the most awkward of places. Her eyes were green, and she wore rounded glasses. It seemed like she was also wearing a hoodie, like Lapis, except it probably wasn't patched, and it was green.

"So since all my time is gonna be focused on organizing my workplace, I'm gonna need somebody sending souls down to fill in some jobs." Mephisto tapped Peridot's picture. "So you're gonna have to go down to Earth and torture, humiliate, pester, and be a general nuisance to Miss Olivine here unti-"

"You mean I get to kill her?" Lapis interrupted, standing from her seat quickly. She placed her hands on the desk, looking at Mephisto with a fiery look in her eyes. "You mean I get to kill people?"

"Not exactly." Mephisto replied, unfazed at having been interrupted. He crossed his fingers together, speaking calmly. "You get to help people kill themselves.."

"Oh.." Lapis would be lying if she said she wasn't at least a little disappointed. She sat back in her seat, sighing. She had to admit, it would be fun, either way.

"And what if I refuse the offer?" Lapis asked. She acted coy as she asked this question, but she really was curious.

Mephisto only smirked, resting his chin on the back of his interlocked fingers.

"You won't."


	2. Meet Peridot

Peridot Olivine sighed as she stared at her computer screen. She had been staring at the same screen for over thirty minutes, begging her hand to move the mouse across the monitor. To click anything. To do anything that would cure her of this immense boredom.

But ultimately, all Peridot could do was lean back in her chair, her hands covering her face.

She was dressed in just a black sports bra and green pajama pants, round glasses on her nose. Peridot was dressed so lightly because the Summer season was just ending. It was almost 6:00 AM. The blonde stayed up all night in an attempt to entertain herself.

"Oh my god.." She whispered, enraged. Why couldn't she find one source of entertainment in the beautiful world known as the Internet? She should have just went to sleep when she had the chance.

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Peridot was jolted from her self loathing when her alarm clock started to blare. She nearly fell out of her chair as she scrambled to reach the nightstand beside her bed. Slamming her hand on the snooze button, she gripped her chest with her other hand. Her breathing became shallow, her heart rate picking up speed. Her lungs felt as if they would burst at any moment.

But she wouldn't reach for her inhaler, even though it was ride beside the alarm clock her hand rested on. Peridot was not weak. She was not going to allow herself to succumb to her condition.

* * *

When Peridot was just a few years younger, her family had gotten into a terrible car accident. To make a long story short, her parents died instantly, and she lost her right arm.

Since the accident wasn't her family's fault, Peridot was given a large sum of money in court. That, along with her parent's inheritance, allowed the blonde to have surgery on her arm, replacing her lost flesh with metal. Her family wasn't rich by any means, but they were well off. Of course she had to have her arm replaced every few months as she grew.

In her second replacement surgery, the doctors found leftover trauma in Peridot's lungs from the impact of the crash. It was nothing serious, but this trauma caused a need for an inhaler.

Though people attempted to comfort Peridot about the loss of her parents, she turned down their efforts every time, insisting that she was fine. In reality, she didn't care.

Of course she missed her parents. They were kind to her, and were very lovely people to everyone they met. But Peridot didn't see a reason to mourn when she could do nothing about their deaths. She was positive that wherever they were, they would want her to try and be happy rather than be saddened over their passing.

Peridot now lives in an urban neighborhood, though there were only a few houses aside from hers, and most of them were empty. Really, she might as well be living in the countryside for how quiet it is. But that was just fine with the blonde. She loved the peace and quiet, away from prying eyes. Of course there were just a few people who walked the street, but Peridot payed them no mind.

* * *

After a few minutes, attempting to steady her breathing, the pain in Peridot's chest slowly ebbed away. She stood up straight, breathing heavily as sweat practically poured from her face. She stared down at her clock, her eyelids heavy, glasses foggy. She wondered why she even owned the thing in the first place.

The clock began to make that hated noise again. Because Peridot had hit snooze, the machine took a five minute period of silence. Peridot had made a promise to herself to never feel sad for her parents.. But that didn't mean she couldn't feel anger.

In a fit of rage, Peridot gripped the clock in her metal arm. She ripped the blasted noise maker from the wall, throwing it as hard as she could toward her window.

Glass shattered, and the clock went soaring into the street.

Peridot realized what she did as soon as the glass broke. Her anger gone, worry on her face, she looked outside the window from where she stood, praying that no one was caught in the broken glass.

Peridot did see someone. A girl, standing with her hands in her hoodie's pockets. She seems to have been walking down the street, as she was standing parallel to Peridot's home. The girl was looking down at the digital alarm clock that was laying in a pile of broken glass. She wore a blue hoodie, and from what Peridot could see, a greenish skirt under that hoodie. Her legs were bare, and that worried Peridot.

Peridot made her way to the window, and with her metal hand, cleared the rest of the broken glass from the window frame. That was a perk about having a fake arm. It felt no pain. She stuck her head out to get a better look at the girl, and talk to her.

"Hey, are you okay?"

The girl looked up from the clock to look at Peridot. Her face was blank of expression as her blue eyes stared into Peridot's green.

Lapis had thought that Peridot was attractive in her photo.. But she was even more so in person.

"Yeah, I'm cool." Lapis replied. She walked forward to stand directly in front of Peridot and her window. Though as she walked, even stepping on glass, her steps seemed to not make any noise. "Did the window cheat on the clock with a lamp, or something?"

Peridot sighed in relief and even chuckled at the other girl's joke. At least she was okay.

"Nah, it was the toaster." Peridot said, resting her metal arm on the windowsill and her chin in its hand. "After the clock found out, it threw the toaster in the bathtub. Apparently, it made it look like a suicide, so the appliance police can't pin anything on it."

"Figures." Lapis kicked the grass under her, though no earth was pulled up. "The toasters are always too hot for themselves."

"Yeah.." Peridot rubbed the back of her head. "Anyway, I gotta go." She grabbed the cord beside her window that controlled her blinds, and with a light tug, they fell to cover the entrance to the window.

"Rude, much?" Lapis said under her breath. Though she couldn't help but feel a sense of.. Ecstasy. As she turned and walked away, she smiled, feeling like she was going to have fun with her first job as a demon. Then again.. how was she supposed to act?

* * *

Peridot found it much easier to breathe after that interaction with the girl.

She sat on her bed, propping herself up as she leaned backward. Peridot felt calmer, somehow, since talking to that girl. Maybe because it was the first social interaction she's had aside from her tutor. The really odd thing though, is that the girl didn't ask about Peridot's arm.

Maybe she didn't notice it? Nah, it was impossible not to notice. It was gray. She probably just didn't want to bring it up out of courtesy. Or didn't care? Peridot didn't know..

Sighing and standing from her bed, Peridot stretched her real arm. After that little episode, she could use a cool shower.. She collected her clothes from her dresser after undressing and throwing her pajamas and underwear in the wash, making her way to the bathroom.

* * *

A few hours later, Peridot is sitting at her kitchen table, a multitude of text books scattered in front of her. Peridot moved from book to book, solving three problems at a time from each.

English questions about how essays should be planned out, math problems that are on a college level, Biology questions about the difference between the stem and root cells of a flower, and so on. There was nothing that Peridot didn't work on, at least a little bit.

The blonde is now wearing a button down green shirt, though she kept it open so that her black sports bra and the rest of her front was exposed, and she still wore her green pajama bottoms. She was just that lazy.

Peridot's tutor is sitting across from her. The tutor's hair is a dirty blonde, neatly combed back, whereas Peridot's seemed bleached and messy. Her eyes a light blue, she wore a yellow tank top and khaki pants, tan colored sandals on her feet. Her elbows rested on the table, chin in her hands as she stared at Peridot doing her work.

"Always the over-achiever." The tutor commented.

"I wanna make sure I'm able to live on my own." Peridot replied. "You know this."

"And I told you that you can just come live with me and Amethyst." The tutor replied.

"And _I_ told _you.._ " Peridot retorted, just a hint of anger and annoyance in her voice. "That I don't want the easy way out."

"Alright, alright.." The tutor relented, sitting back in her chair, draping her arms over the back of her seat. "So just tell me if you need help with anything, okay?"

"Have I ever needed help, Pearl?" Peridot asked rhetorically. Then she asked a genuine question. "How is Amethyst, by the way?"

"Oh she's gotten over her food poisoning, thank goodness." Pearl scoffed, crossing her arms. "I swear, she needs to stop eating all of that garbage. It's bad for her."

"Well maybe this getting over a junk food related sickness will bring her to the light." Peridot suggested, but Pearl didn't seem hopeful.

"I'd rather not hope for the impossible. She's a human garbage disposal." Pearl sighed, leaning forward to rest her arms on the table again. "It still baffles as to why I love her so much.."

"Oh yeah, you got engaged recently, didn't you?" Peridot asked when her tutor brought up hers and her girlfriend's relationship.

"Yes we did." Pearl stated proudly, looking down at the engagement ring on her left ring finger. "The wedding is in October. I hope you'll come."

The ring is intricately designed, the bands forming around an opal stud in the middle. When asked why Amethyst chose opal as the center, she just said it felt right. Pearl couldn't help but agree.

"You're pretty much the only friends I have." Peridot said, closing her textbooks one by one. She decided that she was finished studying for the day.. it's not as if she couldn't catch up quickly enough anyway. "Of course I'll attend." She continued with a smile, looking up at Pearl.

"Thank you.." Pearl said with sincerity. After a brief moment of silence, Pearl stood from the table and began to collect the textbooks that she brought for Peridot to study from.

"Any trouble with the arm?" The tutor asked. Peridot shook her head and stretched out her shoulder, testing the connection between her metal replacement and the nerves in her arm.

"No, everything's all good." Peridot stood from the table as well and followed Pearl outside of the house to the driveway. Whenever Peridot closed her books, the tutor took that as an indication that studying was finished for the day, and decided to leave her student alone. The shorter blonde did enjoy her privacy.

"I did have a little asthma attack this morning though.." Peridot admitted. "It wasn't a big deal."

"Well I'll trust you.." Normally, Pearl would be a worrywort and scold Peridot for not calling her immediately. But she learned that even though Peridot had troubles with her body, she was determined to not let them get the best of her. "But don't be afraid to call me or Amethyst. Everyone needs help sometimes, not just because of your condition."

Pearl fished her keys from her pocket with one hand, holding the text books with her other. She opened the trunk of her blue sedan and stacked the books inside.

"Oh!" Pearl exclaimed suddenly after closing the trunk door. She turned to Peridot, who was leaning on the side of the car. "I forgot, but have you seen the news, lately?"

"I don't really watch television." Peridot admitted, standing up straight. "What's up?"

"The police found a family buried on top of the hill near the cemetery a few miles from here." Pearl crossed her arms, leaning against her car. "Three people. A girl and her parents."

"Well it's a cemetery." Peridot stated matter-of-factly. Of course they'd be there if they were dead.

"Normally, that wouldn't be weird. But the police say that the parents were murdered and buried that night.." Pearl bit her lip before continuing. "By their own daughter."

"That's bullshit." Peridot accused, her face wrought with disbelief. "She's dead too, isn't she?"

"That's the crazy part. Apparently, she killed herself after digging her own grave."

"And you're sure you didn't get this from some crack website?" Peridot asked.

"I checked it out on my way here, Peri." Pearl replied. "There were a lot of police there, controlling the scene, but I saw them. The graves are there, and the girl's body is still in hers, knife right in her heart.." The tutor sighed, averting her eyes. "It's a shame.. She looks so young, and attractive too. I wonder what drove her to such a thing."

"That's.. pretty fucked up." Peridot really couldn't think of anything else to say. Pearl normally would have berated her student for her swearing, but she found that this use of the words was perfect for the situation.

"Yeah, it is.." Pearl stood up straight and walked passed Peridot, opening her front door. "Anyway, sorry to end our study session on such a somber tone."

"Don't worry about it." Peridot waved it off, smiling as Pearl got in her car. "I'll probably forget about it when I get inside anyway."

"Pfft, knowing you, you'll just go straight to your computer." Pearl started her car, her window rolled down so she can continue talking to Peridot after closing her door.

"You know me so well." Peridot confirmed with a smirk.

After a shared chuckle, the two said their goodbyes and Pearl was on her way. Peridot waved until her tutor was out of her driveway, heading out of the neighborhood.

Finally alone again, the blonde sighed and made her way inside of her house.

She removed her shirt after closing the front door behind her, stretching her good arm afterward. It felt good to feel the air on her skin.. Maybe because she couldn't feel it on her right arm is why she likes to be as loosely clothed as possible. But, who knows?

Scratching her head, Peridot made her way down the hall to her room.

"Hi."

A voice came from the kitchen as Peridot passed the doorway to it, and at first, she didn't think anything of it and just replied.

"Hey."

In her room, Peridot took a seat at her computer and sighed, leaning back in her chair. Once again, a dilemma presented itself where Peridot could not think of a single thing to look for online, no matter how many things run through her hea-.. wait, what?

Peridot bolted from her chair and ran from her room, almost slamming her doorknob through the wall as she swung her door open. Skidding to a halt in front of the kitchen entrance, Peridot stared as the girl from earlier this morning simply smiled and twirled her thumbs together, arms resting on the kitchen table where she sat.


	3. Interaction

"Can she see me?"

"She can. Other people can't."

"Can she hear us?"

"She can hear _you._ You're talking to yourself."

"Wha-? Nuh-uh! Her window's closed!"

But Mephisto was already gone.

Lapis was standing outside of Peridot's home, staring at the spot in which the leader of Hell once stood.

Mephisto guided Lapis to the girl's house a few minutes earlier, explaining about how to go about haunting her. He told Lapis to act like she normally would as a homicidal demon. Lapis understood the homicidal part. It was the demon bit that got her all excited.

* * *

"So I'm a demon?" Lapis had asked before.

"Well you're certainly no angel." Mephisto retorted, his smile playful, and his walk gentleman-like.

"So do I have coal-black eyes, now?"

"Why, wanna trade in your old ones?"

Lapis smiled sheepishly up at her employer.

"Are you ever not going to respond with witty puns?"

"When Hell freezes over." Mephisto replied, smirking back.

"You're gonna be the death of me.."

"Heh, that one's too easy, kid. I ain't givin' you the pleasure."

* * *

And now Lapis stood beside Peridot's window, fuming at how the Devil himself basically walked out on her on her first job. He said to just act normal, but how was that supposed to be?!

Lapis was a demon now! How in Hell was she supposed to act like she used to when she doesn't even know how to act now?

She was brought from her thoughts when she heard the sound of shattering glass beside her. Lapis turned her head to see a digital alarm clock rolling in the grass toward her feet.

Lapis watched as the clock came to a stop, accompanied by many shards of glass. She was afraid to look up toward the window it came from.

Had Peridot actually heard her conversation? No, she couldn't hear Mephisto. The man himself said so. Did Peridot hear Lapis talking to herself? That wouldn't be a good reason to throw a clock through a window.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Lapis looked up to see Peridot standing in her window with a concerned expression. Her face was so flawless.. Even her glasses only did more to bring out those deep, green eyes. Before she knew it, Lapis found herself staring.

"Yeah, I'm cool." Lapis replied, walking forward. She continued thinking to herself that she had a job to do, that she shouldn't let this very, _very_ attractive girl get in the way of that job. Who knows? Maybe they'd see each other in Hell.

* * *

"Why are you in my house?" Peridot asked Lapis in exasperation. Peridot's mind was racing.

Why was the girl from this morning sitting at her kitchen table? How did she even get in without Peridot or Pearl noticing? And why is this girl looking as confused as Peridot?

Lapis paused at the question. How exactly was she supposed to explain this situation?

"I uh.." Lapis started, a light blush adorning her cheeks as she averted her eyes. "I'm a demon, and I'm here to haunt you?" She looked back at Peridot, her eyes wide. "No wait, that sounds terrible."

"Get out of my house before I call the police." Peridot threatened, crossing her arms. "Or I could kick you out the hard way."

"You can try, but I don't think you'll get too far." Lapis tried to reason, actually wearing an amused grin. She would honestly love to see someone try and grab her just to grip air.

"Oh my god.." Peridot sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose under her glasses with her real hand. "You're really stuck on the demon thing, aren't you?"

"Well I'm telling the truth." Lapis gripped her leg and pulled it upward, lightly swinging it back and forth. "There's no scratches from this mornin', see? That glass passed right through me."

"You're serious." Peridot actually gave a dry chuckle. Why did she have to get a crazy one? "Maybe I should call you a therapist instead."

"At least let me prove it?" Lapis pleaded.

Peridot looked into Lapis' eyes. With a sigh, the blonde sat in front of her uninvited guest.

"I can't believe I'm actually humoring you.."

"You won't regret it!" Lapis stated with glee. Then she put a finger to her chin in thought. "Well, I was going to haunt you either way, so I guess it doesn't matter."

"Just do whatever you think is gonna make me believe you're a demon." Peridot ordered, annoyed. But her annoyance was meant for herself as much as it was meant for this girl in front of her.

This girl was trying to convince Peridot she was a demon, for crying out loud! Why would the blonde even give small benefit of the doubt? This was stupid. Peridot rested her chin in her hand, watching in false anticipation as Lapis stood from her seat.

"Okay, but first, I'm gonna ask you a question." Lapis announced.

"Oh, super." Peridot said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Go on, I'm sure to be _thrilled_."

"Sassy, I like that." Lapis giggled, then covered her mouth as she coughed. Her demeanor became more business-like, hands behind her back, as if she were about to question a four year old on something simple. "What do fish do when they die?"

"I dunno, stop swimming?" Peridot answered, crossing her arms. She had a feeling that she knew the answer that this girl was looking for, but she wouldn't give her the pleasure. "They go to fish Heaven? Fish Hell? They get flushed down a toilet?"

"All wrong!" Lapis exclaimed, clapping her hands together loudly. She put one of her feet on the table and went through the motions of kicking it.

Peridot expected the table to be forced toward her into her chest, but that didn't happen. Instead, the girl in front of her seemed to jump. She hung in the air as she flipped backwards. If Peridot weren't so amazed by what she was witnessing, she probably would have blushed at the sight of the other girl's panties under her skirt.

Slowly, Lapis' body came to hang midair, acting as if she were laying on her stomach on an invisible bed. She rested her chin on the back of her interlocked fingers, suppressing a giggle at Peridot's gaping mouth.

"When fish die.." Lapis whispered, kicking her legs back and forth in the air. "..they float."

* * *

 **Author's Note: I'm sorry for the short chapter. I would have put more into this, but I couldn't really get into it for this chapter. The next one will be much better, I can assure you.**


	4. Settling In

"This isn't happening.."

Peridot whispered this in disbelief. She stood from her chair, now on eye level with the floating girl. The blonde is staring at her uninvited guest in confusion and denial.

"I'm asleep." Peridot said. "I'm asleep and I'll wake up in a few minutes." Then she smacked herself in the forehead, her chuckle forced. "No, that never works.. This isn't a cartoon, or, or some sitcom.." She backed up against the kitchen wall, next to the fridge, and sank down to sit on the floor, face in her hands.

Peridot's stutter was not missed by Lapis. The floating girl smiled and came to float down next to her target, arms crossed under her chin.

"Yeah, I'm as real as can be." Lapis said this gayly, as if she had come across a new toy as a child.

"So you're really a ghost." Peridot stated, confirming the situation to herself. She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, looking up to see the girl floating in front of her.

"Demon, actually." Lapis corrected, flipping herself upside down to get a look at Peridot from a different perspective. "Name's Lapis. Lapis Lazuli."

"Like the thing from Minecraft?" The blonde couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of the situation.

"Yep." Lapis confirmed with a grin, flipping herself upright and crossing her legs as if she were sitting on an invisible floor. "No one's ever used that game as an example, though."

"Yeah, well I'm not like everybody else." Peridot retorted, starting to feel a bit more.. she wouldn't call it comfortable. But she did feel more at ease with the floating girl in her house. Perhaps it was because she knew the circumstances now, at least most of the circumstances.

"That's why I'm here, Peridot." Lapis spoke her target's name for the first time, and the name rolled off of her tongue as if she knew the girl her whole life. "Because the boss down under considers you one of the most likely people to kill themselves."

"Well that's not dark at all." Peridot said, not batting an eye as she took in this information. She stood from the floor, dusting off her pajamas. "Figured you'd be here for something along those lines though, if you are a demon."

"You don't seem too surprised." Lapis commented, cocking her head to the side.

"I get over surprises pretty quickly."

"Pfft, tell that to your broken window." Lapis scoffed, brushing her target's words off like a speck of dust.

"That was different, I didn't get any sleep last night!" Peridot argued, her fists down at her sides, her face flush with anger and embarrassment. "That stupid clock wouldn't have gotten me otherwise."

"Uh-huh, sure, whatever you say." Lapis giggled and began to spin herself upside down and right side up over and over again, still in the cross legged position. Floating was fun.. she should have killed herself sooner. "How'd your friend not notice the glass?"

"I cleaned it up before she got here." Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose and turned away from the kitchen, making her way to her room. Lapis followed closely behind, now upright and laying down in the air. The demon found that she couldn't help but stare at her target's butt..

"So how does this work?" Peridot asked when she got into her room, taking a seat in her computer chair, turning to face her uninvited guest. Her arm rested on her desk after she shrugged her button down shirt off to hang over her chair, now just in a sports bra and pajamas. "Do you like, haunt my dreams or something? Probably would work better if you didn't introduce yourself to me, you know."

"Nah, it's a lot less complicated." Lapis took a second to compose herself before answering, having stared at Peridot as she spoke. Why did this blonde have to be so hot? "You'll see how things go."

"Right.. Well whatever. At least you don't eat much, since you're apparently my new roommate." Peridot said this as she turned to her desktop computer, which was already turned on from before she found her houseguest.

"Yeah, kinda hard to digest food when you're dead." Lapis floated beside Peridot, fingers locked to rest under her chin as she watched her target surf the web.

One might think that Peridot would be the one to consider this situation odd, but really, she just didn't care. If all her new "friend" said was true, then all there would be to this visit is a few minor annoyances. So she would just go about her daily life, attempting to entertain herself with her computer, and completely ignore that Lapis Lazuli even exists.

The demoness, on the other hand, was rather perplexed. If Lapis suddenly encountered a demon, and she were alive, she probably would have freaked out. She would have reasoned that she was crazy, that she needed help from a therapist to get over her problem, and live her life happily talking to her demon in an asylum. But seeing Peridot's less than stellar reaction confused her.

Why would Peridot not care that a demon was haunting her in an attempt to force her into suicide? Why wouldn't she be scared, terrified, of a specter that can invade her personal space and mess with whatever it wished?

Lapis idly floated by and watched in wonder as this girl in front of her typed away at her keyboard, searching through YouTube for entertainment.

"Didn't you not get any sleep last night?" Lapis asked, recounting when Peridot mentioned that she was sleep deprived.

"Nope. Didn't sleep at all." And it was obvious now that Peridot was tired. It was easy for her to keep up her energy when she studied with Pearl, because that was after she had taken a shower. But now, as she began to relax in her computer chair and watch some of her favorite YouTubers play video games, it was easy to become exhausted after everything she's been through.

"But I don't want you staring at me while I sleep.. It's creepy, and I'm pretty sure that you, as a demon, would just love to creep me out." The blonde said this without looking back at Lapis, her eyes glued to her screen, eyelids heavy.

"I'm a demon, not a stalker." Lapis countered, floating around Peridot's room in a circle as she spoke, gently kicking her legs. She'd grown bored of the computer screen quickly. "I'm supposed to make you kill yourself. Two of the requirements for that are that you need to be awake, and you need to be so incredibly depressed that it would drive you to that point. Just being creepy isn't gonna cut it."

"You don't sugar coat things, do you?" Peridot asked, finally stealing a glance back at the floating girl to see that she had a smirk on her face.

"If it gets you to Hell faster, it works."

"Right.." Peridot sighed and turned back to her computer, shutting the system down. She was too tired to enjoy the crazy shenanigans the Grumps were up to anyway. The blonde stood from her chair, stretching her arms above her head. "Alright.. Hope you can find some way to have fun while I'm asleep."

"Never thought about that.." Lapis stopped her circling in midair, slowly coming to touch her feet to the ground. Well, to give off the impersonation that she was standing. She is intangible, after all.

"I'm sure you'll figure something out." Peridot began to remove her pajamas, sliding them just far enough down her legs so that they would fall on their own so she could kick them off of her feet. Now just dressed in a black sports bra and neon green panties, she climbed into her bed. "Maybe you can go visit Hell and talk to some people." The blonde said this after she had gotten herself comfortable, removing her glasses and placing them on her night stand, where her alarm clock used to be. That now resided in the trash.

"Maybe.." Lapis pondered this after watching her target strip and get ready for bed. The words Peridot said only actually registered in her head when Peridot had covered herself with her blanket. She's lucky she's already dead, or else her face might be a deep shade of red in a blush. She was actually wondering why Peridot was so okay with being dressed in such away in front of a stranger, let alone a demon.

"Well whatever you do.." Peridot interrupted Lapis' thoughts, turning in her bed to face her wall, and her now broken window with her curtains closed. She would have to get that fixed in case it rains. "..just be sure not to bug me."

Lapis didn't answer. Instead, she floated away from Peridot's room, deciding to take a little tour of her new home, for the time being.

As she floated around the house, phasing through walls, Lapis thought. She thought about how odd it was to be a demon, unable to kill anything, unable to even touch anything. If she wanted, she could feel something. The texture of the carpeted floor, or the softness of a certain fabric, but she couldn't actually move anything or pick something up. It was odd, really, being able to feel without actually feeling anything.

Lapis thought about how quickly the recent events occurred. In just a single night, she killed herself, met the ruler of Hell, became a demon, introduced herself to her target, and was accepted as who and what she was without a second thought.

She closed her eyes and sighed as she unconsciously drifted through the house, killing time. What an odd human Peridot was..

Meanwhile, as the blonde lay in her bed, arms hugging at her sides from under her blanket, shivering in fear, she struggled to keep her breakfast in her stomach.

* * *

 **Author's Note: It's always weird with me. I write 300 or so words in the first day of writing this chapter, I can't think of crap for a week, then I have sudden inspiration and finish the chapter with just under two thousand words. I need to fix that.**


	5. Discovery

Peridot snored peacefully in her bed.

After about half an hour of attempting to keep herself from vomiting at the knowledge that a _fucking_ demon was going to haunt her for the rest of her life, she finally fell asleep.

Lapis kept true to her promise not to invade her dreams. As Peridot floated through the skies of her make believe world, over blue forests and under green seas floating through space, she pondered on whether or not the demon could enter her dreams even if she wanted to. But that thought didn't matter as long as Lapis didn't show up.

In her dream, Peridot wore a lime green sundress, completely nude underneath aside from a pair of panties. She had no need for glasses in this world, and her right arm was made of flesh and blood. She sighed, closing her eyes as she let the winds in her dream gently blow against her face.

Peridot discovered lucid dreaming when she was fourteen years old, a couple months after the accident. She had nightmares about what had happened, and along with the stress of the court date coming up and the bandages wrapped around the stump of her right arm, it almost became too much. Really, if she had never learned to have lucid dreams, she would have fulfilled Lapis' job long before she was even assigned to it.

One evening, as Peridot's caretaker at the time helped her get ready for bed, she brought the topic up to the blonde girl. The caretaker instructed Peridot on how to lay in her bed properly, how to steady her breathing, how to clear her head.. how to dream. Since then, when Peridot fell into her world of sleep, it was as if nothing had gone wrong in her life whatsoever. The only thing she didn't do in her dreams was bring her parents back. She didn't want to see them, not in her dreams at least. They were dead, and that was that.

But even though Peridot could control her dreams, though she could create an actual rainbow made of skittles or a gelatin filled volcano, they never lasted long. Just like actual dreams, hers only lasted a few minutes at most.

Slowly, she returned to the waking world. The sensation of the wind rushing through her hair was replaced with the fabric of her pillow under her head, her sundress replaced with her underwear and bed sheets. It was always odd, to close her eyes in a dream and feel herself wake up. Such a transition only existed to those who could be awake in their sleep.

Peridot opened her eyes and was less than surprised to find Lapis Lazuli hovering above her, their noses just a hair's breadth from each other. This was already starting to just be the best day ever.

"Mornin' Peri." Lapis greeted, floating up and away from the blonde to allow her room. "Sleep well? You sure looked like it."

Peridot didn't grace her demon with an answer. Instead, she sighed and threw her blanket from her body. Normally, she'd spend a few extra hours in bed before Pearl showed up for their tutoring session, but she had the distinct feeling that she wasn't going to be able to do that as long as Lapis was around.

"You know, you have a great body for an amputee." Lapis commented absentmindedly, floating on her stomach, resting her chin on her interlocked fingers while her legs kick back and forth.

Peridot sat up from where she lay, her legs hanging from the side of her bed. She a moment to adjust to getting up so early, then reached toward her nightstand to put on her glasses. "Thanks, I guess. I was wondering when you were gonna bring up my arm."

"I thought it'd be too personal on the first day."

"Wow, way to be considerate." Peridot was already annoyed with her new guest. Too personal? She didn't think anything was too personal for a demon.

Peridot finally stood from the bed and stretched her arms above her head. Afterwards, she bent down and collected her pajamas from the floor, bringing them to her nose. They were still good for another day, she figured. Well, after her shower.

"You won't follow me in the shower, will you?" Peridot asked, draping her pajama pants over her arm and opening her closet door at the other side of her nightstand.

"Will you kill yourself if I do?" Lapis asked, flipping herself upside down. Honestly, she thought she would love to follow her target into the shower, to see her nude, wet body.. She believed that one downside to being a demon was that she could still get aroused, but really couldn't do anything about it.

"Don't think so." Peridot replied while sifting through her closet, looking for a new shirt to wear. Nothing to tight, or uncomfortable.. A black tee shirt would do. She didn't plan on going anywhere today. Peridot continued talking as she turned and walked out of her room toward the bathroom. "I mean, unless you can rape me and make me feel like my body is completely worthless, I think I'll be fine."

Lapis chuckled. "I can only dream of making you feel like shit, Peri." She followed her target to the door of the bathroom, but respectfully stayed on the outside. "If only I could kill you myself."

Peridot turned to face her demon, holding the door with her free hand. "I bet you'd just get off on it, wouldn't you?" Peridot asked rhetorically. She closed the door, sighing at the nodding Lapis. Who is this girl, anyway?

* * *

Lapis and Peridot now sat in the blonde's room. Peridot is at her computer, dressed and with a towel around her neck, now wearing her glasses while Lapis is "sitting" in midair beside her. The two waited on Pearl to arrive. Lapis was hoping to be able to make the tutor think Peridot had gone crazy.

"You know if you talk to me in front of her, she'll stick you in the loony bin." Lapis remarked, watching Peridot wander around in an online dungeon crawler game. Hack Slash Crawl it's called. So classy.

"That's why I'm going to ignore the fact that you even exist." Peridot replied after killing a floor boss, then proceeded to fall down the hole only to be ambushed by another floor boss in the next screen.

"Oh I'll make sure you can't ignore me." Lapis floated above Peridot now, waving her hands in front of the blonde's face to distract her from her game. "I can be pretty annoying. Just ask my friend Steven and he'll tell you that I'm a deranged psychopath."

"You _**were**_ a deranged psychopath. You're dead." Peridot sighed after Lapis' interruption caused her to fall prey to the monsters in her dungeon. She pushed away from her computer in her rolling chair, if anything, to get away from Lapis. "I'm pretty sure to be considered a psychopath, you have to be living."

"Then I'm just a crazy demon?" Lapis asked, flipping herself backwards, now upside down to look at Peridot. "Sounds cooler to me."

"Of course it would.." After these words, there came a knock on the door. Peridot actually smiled for the first time today, standing from her chair. "And that'll be Pearl. Let the ignoring begin."

"Like I'll let that happen." Lapis challenged with a smirk. Peridot didn't answer, and instead went to answer the front door, leaving Lapis alone in her room.

Peridot took the towel from around her neck as she walked toward the front door, tossing it onto her couch in the living room. At the insistent knocking on her door, she grew impatient.

"Dammit, Pearl, give me some time!" Peridot yelled as she threw open the door. But not only was she greeted by the sight of her tutor, Pearl's fiance was there as well.

"What up, bubble butt?" Amethyst greeted with a wave of her hand, her other hand holding onto two of the three books that Peridot was going to be studying with today. Amethyst's hair is a light brown, with purple highlights. She wore a purple tank top and rather short jean shorts, much to Pearl's embarrassment, and she had sandals on her feet. "Thought I'd tag along this time. Got some time off of work."

"Jenny gave you time off?" Peridot asked, leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed. "How's the world not ending?"

"Buck took my shift." Amethyst shrugged an explanation and walked past Peridot into the home. Pearl followed closely, her cheeks puffed out. It seems that the tutor thought that Amethyst would get a few comments about her attire. She should have known that Peridot wouldn't care.

Pearl herself wore pretty much the same outfit as last time: a yellow tank top with khaki pants and sandals. She followed Amethyst into the kitchen, setting the book she was carrying beside Amethyst's. This time, there was an accounting book, a psychology book, and a physical health book. Peridot really wanted to be a Jack of All Trades.

"I still wish you wore something less revealing.." Pearl whined to Amethyst after they had taken their seats at the table, leaving Amethyst to close the front door.

"It's hot as hell out there, P." Amethyst retorted, resting an elbow on the table. "I'm not wearing jeans in this weather."

Peridot came into the kitchen, taking a seat at the kitchen table opposite Pearl and Amethyst. "It is pretty hot out there. It's starting to get uncomfortable where my arm attaches to my prosthetic."

"I still think having an arm like that is badass." Amethyst commented, smiling widely as Peridot began to open her books. "I've seen you break a plank of wood with that arm. Other than the obvious, how's it feel?"

"I can't even count the amount of times you've asked me that question just because I could crush a skull with my hand." Peridot stood from the table after realizing she had forgotten her pen and paper. "It doesn't feel any different, really. I'm gonna grab some writing stuff." Then she left the kitchen, heading toward her room.

Lapis "stood" with her back to the wall in the hallway, arms crossed and smiling at Peridot as she passed. "Dare you to tell them about me."

"Sure, why not?" Peridot said sarcastically, rummaging through the drawer of her desk. "I'll tell them that I'm being haunted by a demon girl who's sarcastic, has a physical form of a seventeen year old girl, and literally tells me to kill myself on a daily basis."

"See, when you say it like that, it seems like you would be crazy." Lapis giggled and floated behind Peridot when she turned around and began to head back toward the kitchen, pen in one hand and a notebook in the other. Lapis quickly came to float in front of the blonde girl, causing her to stop in her tracks. "Just mention my name to them, at least. Like, you had a dream, or something. I guarantee you'll be freaked out by their response."

"Will you keep hounding me about it if I don't?" Peridot asked, looking annoyed.

"I'm pretty sure doing anything I can to pester you will get you one step closer to going over the edge and slitting your own throat. So yes, I'm going to hound you about it."

Peridot didn't say anything. Instead, she walked through Lapis, not caring about the odd feeling she got when she did, like a tingling sensation across her skin. She made her way to the kitchen, and Lapis turned to follow.

Back in the kitchen, Amethyst was taking a close look at Pearl's neck, but quickly went back to sitting normally when Peridot entered the room. The blonde decided not to ask. Lapis, however, was all over it.

"I think your friends got a little kinky last night."

Peridot took a deep breath and took her seat at the table. She decided to work on her books one at a time today. She started with the Principles of Accounting.

"I'm assuming you won't need my help today, either?" Pearl asked, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms.

"I'll be fine. I'll ask for help if I need it."

"I'm here too, Dot." Amethyst commented, head resting in her hands, elbows on the table.

Peridot smirked at this, starting her work. "The day I need help from you is the day that I regrow my arm."

"Oooh, that's harsh." Lapis commented from above them, though only Peridot could hear. Amethyst responded in much the same way.

"I'm a college student, you know. I'm pretty sure I could help you with some accounting stuff."

"Doubt it." Peridot replied, turning a page in her book. "Pearl's already let me study from textbooks that are above three years of college experience."

"Seriously?!" Amethyst turned to face her lover, who began twiddling her thumbs, a bashful smile on her face.

"She's very determined.." Pearl said, defending herself. "Peridot's taken the best of her situation and she's doing everything to make it better. I'm proud of her."

"Well yeah, I am too.. But you know." Amethyst turned away, crossing her arms with a pout. It was clear that she felt insecure at being outdone by Peridot, who was many years younger than herself.

"I know, Ame.." Pearl pulled her chair closer to Amethyst's wrapping her arms around her fiance. She kissed Amethyst's cheek. "You're still my favorite, though.. Nothing will change that."

Though Amethyst tried, she couldn't keep the smile from creeping onto her face. She grabbed Pearl's arm, gently running her fingers over the soft skin. "Mm, I'd hope not. That ring was damn expensive."

"You're friends are really adorable together." Lapis commented, floating with her legs crossed in the air, now beside Peridot. The blonde could feel herself smiling at how lovingly Pearl and Amethyst acted to each other, and even Lapis' comment was sweet. "It would be so romantic if they killed themselves together. Wrapping their arms together, feeding each other cyanide. Lovely." And like that, Peridot's smile faded.

"Hey Pearl?" Peridot asked, surprising the taller woman. Did Peridot actually need help?

"Yes?"

"Can you get me a book on demons?"

"Whoa, where's that coming from?" Amethyst asked as Pearl detached herself. "Thinking about converting or something? I thought you didn't like religion."

"I still don't. I'm as much of an atheist as ever." Peridot shot a quick look up to Lapis, who was shaking in excitement, her fists clenched over her face like a little girl. She was probably looking forward to seeing Peridot's friends think she was crazy. The blonde sighed and turned back toward Pearl and Amethyst. "Well, I guess I'm a Deist now."

"Why the change?" Pearl asked, interested. She never thought Peridot would ever believe in any sort of all powerful being.

"I'm being haunted by a demon." Peridot stated matter of factly, shrugging her shoulders. Pearl and Amethyst just stared at their friend with blank expressions. It was Amethyst who reacted first.

"So.. Demon. Are we talking Paranormal Activity, Annabel, The Exorcist, what?"

"More like an annoying girl in a skirt floating beside me and telling me to kill myself." Peridot replied, closing her accounting book. She had already finished a few balances anyway.

"If you're playing a joke, it's not funny." Pearl stated flatly. "You're a very dear friend, but my family was very religious. I'm more adaptable than my parents, but joking about a demon is pretty nasty of you."

"I'm not joking." Peridot said this calmly, keeping her nerves in check. Really, she could understand why Pearl would be pissed, so her best bet was to stay calm. Worst case scenario, Peridot could just apologize for a bad joke and regain Pearl's trust in a few weeks. "She said her name is Lapis."

"Lapis Lazuli?" Amethyst asked, while Pearl relaxed her stern posture, mouth agape.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Peridot asked, surprised that Amethyst knew the girl's name. She then looked to Pearl, who was still in shock.

"Peri.." Amethyst started. "Lapis Lazuli is the girl that killed her parents."

* * *

 **Author's Note: I'll be getting my wisdom teeth out by the end of the week. So be on the lookout for the next chapter of "When Death Calls" some time next week. I hope you enjoyed this chapter to "Hell Hath no Fury". Any review is greatly appreciated.**


	6. A Fight Beetween Friends

"Well that's fan-fucking-tastic." Peridot groaned, laying her forehead on the table.

Amethyst had just told Peridot that the supposed demon haunting her was the girl who murdered her parents and took her own life afterward. Lapis giggled from above the table, facing Peridot with a giddy smile on her face.

"Toldja you'd be surprised."

Peridot titled her head up from the table just enough to glare at the floating girl. "I'd beat the shit out of you if I could." She mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Pearl's surprised and angered voice came from behind Lapis. Giggling again, the demon floated out of the way so Peridot could see Pearl sitting there, arms crossed and practically seething. Amethyst seemed just as offended.

"Yeah, what the hell, Peri?"

"I'm didn't say that to you." Peridot sighed and stood from the table. There was just too much stuff to deal with right now to study. "You know what? Yeah, I played a dumb fucking joke." She turned from the table and walked from the room, twirling a finger in the air. "Sorry to fuck with your religion, I'm totally going to Hell, blah blah blah."

"Where are you going?" Pearl asked, and Peridot stopped outside the kitchen. The blonde turned, a nonchalant expression on her face.

"To my room. What does it look like?"

"You're not leaving without an explanation."

"Fine." Peridot leaned against the door frame of the kitchen, crossing her arms. "Then please explain why I can't go to my room."

"Ooh, you're a smart ass." Amethyst commented, though she couldn't help the grin that began to curl her lips. She should be mad, but she couldn't help it. Peridot's attitude reminded her of herself. Pearl, however, was having nothing of it.

The tutor stood from the table with such force that the chair she was in almost fell backwards to the floor. She leaned on the table, her hands flat on its surface as she glared at Peridot. "You will _not_ talk to me like that."

"Or what?" Peridot asked, letting out a dry chuckle. "You gonna ground me?"

"I certainly have the right to."

"You're not my mother."

"Well obviously!" Pearl yelled, tired of Peridot's calm demeanor. "You'd be more disciplined if I were!"

Lapis let out a low whistle, now floating on her back as she watches this little exchange. "A shot at the dead folks. That ruffle your jimmies, Peri?" She asked this as she takes a glance back at the blonde girl. What Lapis saw in Peridot's expression was far from what she expected.

Lapis had expected Peridot to remain calm, calculating, as she always had been since they first met. But watching that single tear roll down her cheek, seeing the sadness and anger in Peridot's eyes.. Lapis actually felt bad for her.

"Get out." The blonde whispered, arms now uncrossed, gripping at the door frame.

Pearl realized her mistake the moment those words escaped her lips. She straightened her posture, hands now held over her mouth. Gone was the anger from her face, instead replaced with worry and fear for her friend. "Peri.. I-I didn't mean th-"

"Get the _fuck_ out of my house!" Peridot yelled, tearing out a small piece of the framed she was holding onto. She tossed the wooden chuck at Pearl, but in her rage, her aim was far off. The wood smashed against one of the cabinet doors above the sink, splintering both objects.

"Okay! Okay, I'll leave.." Pearl said this as she stood up straight again, having ducked for safe measure when Peridot threw the piece of wood. Peridot stood there, seething as tears streaked her face. She turned and left the room, not because she was finished, but because she had to allow Pearl passed her. The blonde stormed to her room, followed by Lapis, and slammed the door shut when she was inside.

Pearl winced when she heard the door slam. "I.. I didn't mean that." She whispered to Amethyst, who stood from the table.

"I know, P." Amethyst took Pearl's hands in hers, holding them as she looked up at her lover. "But you fucked up."

"I know.." Pearl knew what she said was too much. She really shouldn't have brought up Peridot's parents like that, especially in the sense that Pearl would have been better than them. At that point, she was asking to have something thrown at her.

"How about you go wait in the car, okay?" Amethyst suggested, smiling gently. "I'll talk to her, see if I can calm her down."

"Are you sure?" Pearl asked, afraid for Amethyst's safety.

"Would you rather do it?" Pearl's silence was the only answer Amethyst needed. She stood on her toes and gave a quick peck to Pearl's lips, letting go of her hands afterward. "I'll be fine, Sweet P."

"..alright." Pearl gave in with a sigh. Though, she could help but smile, at least a little bit. "I love you.."

"I love you too. Now get your ass out of here."

* * *

Peridot now lay on her bed, facing the wall. She had her arms around her pillow, and her glasses lay shattered on the opposite wall. She had to break something, and her computer was just too important.

Lapis hovered just above the floor, as if she were standing behind Peridot. Oddly enough, instead of feeling elated that this girl was edging closer and closer to her suicide, Lapis felt.. sad.

When she was alive, Lapis gave quick deaths to the animals she killed. She always made sure it was instant. Snapping a cat's neck, stabbing straight through a mouse's body, anything she could think of to make they wouldn't suffer. It still pleasured her to watch the life die in their eyes, but inflicting pain was not something she liked to do.

Lapis thought that it would be different with humans. She thought she would enjoy torturing Peridot emotionally, telling her all of these mean things to get beneath her skin. But she was wrong. Seeing this girl so angry, and broken.. It hurt Lapis to watch this.

"Peri?" Lapis whispered tentatively, completely forgetting the fact that she had a job to fulfill.

"I'm not gonna kill myself yet, if that's what you wanna know." Peridot answered, her voice muffled by the pillow in her face. Lapis couldn't help but notice that the key word in Peridot's sentence was "yet".

"I just.. Wanted to know if you were alright." Lapis wanted to lend a comforting hand to the girl, rub her back, do something.. But she couldn't. That was one of the drawbacks of being dead.

Peridot turned her face just enough that she could see Lapis. The demon was taken aback at how ferociously the blonde was staring at her.

"Are you fucking serious?" Peridot asked, sitting up, propping herself on the bed with her prosthetic arm. She actually laughed, gripping her face in her other hand. "You're worried about me?" She asked again, facing the wall. She felt that if she looked at Lapis now, she'd try to wring her throat.

"I know, seems crazy as I am, but listen.." Lapis sat on the bed beside Peridot, or gave the illusion that she sat on the bed. "All that shit I talked earlier, about making you feel like shit, getting your friends to think you're crazy, that's in the job description." She expected Peridot to respond at this point, but when the blonde stayed quiet, Lapis continued.

"I.. I really don't like hurting things. When I killed animals when I was little, it was fast. I didn't want them to hurt. I thought it would be different with you, with any human, but it feels even worse." Lapis clutched at her chest, where her heart used to be. "I was having fun because you didn't care. I counted it as a challenge, I guess. But that episode you had in the kitchen.. It made me feel terrible."

Peridot let out a dry chuckle. She couldn't believe this. A sentimental demon. Who would've thought?

"You're full of shit.." Peridot stated as she lay back down. Lapis didn't blame her. The demon had come to make Peridot's life a living hell so that she would kill herself and get sent to.. well, actual Hell. Lapis didn't have a right to apologize.

A knock came at the blonde's door, causing Peridot to groan in annoyance. "Go away!"

"Peri, it's me." Amethyst's voice came from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?"

Peridot debated on whether or not to just ignore Amethyst's request. But it wasn't this woman that she was angry with. She sighed, sitting up from the bed.

"Gonna let her in?" Lapis asked, floating from the bed to rest in the air once more. Peridot nodded.

"I'm pissed at Pearl, not Amethyst." Peridot stood from the bed and stretched her real arm across her body. Laying in bed in a pissy mood was not good for the joints.

"Per-Bear?" Amethyst called from the door, causing Lapis to laugh, and Peridot to let out another groan of annoyance.

"Alright, alright!" She called, practically stomping toward the door. Peridot gripped the knob and opened the door, allowing a smirking Amethyst into her room.

"I knew that'd getcha." She commented, stepping in the room. Amethyst took a seat in Peridot's computer chair, turning it so that she would sit backwards in it and rest her arms on the back. "So what's up?"

"You already know." Peridot replied, sitting on her bed. She crossed her legs and propped herself up with her arms as she leaned backwards. "So I'm not going to repeat it."

"Fair enough." However, that's not what Amethyst meant. "But this whole thing started because of that demon of yours."

"I already told you it was a stupid joke." Peridot retorted, uncrossing her legs and leaning forward, elbows on her knees and head resting in her left hand. "A dumb prank."

"You don't _do_ dumb pranks, Peri. I do."

Peridot shrugged. "Maybe I wanted to try it."

Lapis hovered beside Amethyst, an arm wrapped around her shoulder. Of course, being a demon with no tangible form, Amethyst didn't feel a thing. "You know, they might not have dug up my parents yet. Ask her about them."

"I just wanna help you." Amethyst continued. "I want to know why you told us you had a demon on you. And don't say it's a prank, because I know you. It's not."

Peridot considered this for a moment, both Lapis' and Amethyst's words. Was it really worth arguing with Pearl to keep up the story that the whole thing was a joke? But would Lapis really try to help her get her friends to understand?

"Did they identify her parents yet?" Peridot asked, deciding to throw caution to the wind.

"Lazuli's parents?" Amethyst asked, earning a node from Peridot. "No. Why?"

"Lloyd and Maria." Lapis said, floating from Amethyst to sit beside Peridot instead. "Those are their names."

"I hope you're not screwing me over.." Peridot whispered to the demon girl, shooting her a quick glance. Peridot looked back at Amethyst, and relayed the information. "She says their names are Lloyd and Maria."

"So that's the plan then?" Amethyst asked, the tone of her voice telling Peridot that the other woman was skeptical. "We wait until their names are released? If you're right, you're telling the truth, and if you're wrong.."

"Then I'm a sick, crazy bitch that needs to be stuck in an asylum." Peridot finished for Amethyst.

"Well I wouldn't put it that way.. But yeah." Amethyst confirmed. She didn't wanna sugar coat things for the girl. That's just the way Peridot liked it anyway.

"You know.." Peridot started, grinning at Lapis sitting beside her. "If they do stick me in a looney bin, they'd keep me from killing myself. You'd be out of the job."

In that instant, Lapis' concern for Peridot evaporated, quickly replaced with sass. "Oh don't worry." She sneered. "I'll be sure to help you find a few ways to do yourself in."

"Are you talking to her now?" Amethyst asked. Peridot nodded, though she still felt that Amethyst didn't believe her. "What's she saying?"

"Tell her I said I know she and her girlfriend got freaky last night." Lapis requested, but then put a finger to her chin in thought. "Or this morning. I dunno how long hickeys last. Never got one."

"I'm _not_ telling her that." Peridot refused, followed by a pout from the demon girl.

"Come on, Per-Bear." Amethyst insisted, and the Peridot's face heated up at the use of her childish nickname.

"You know what, fine. She said she knows about the "presents" you left on Pearl's neck." Peridot gave in, if just to see Amethyst get flustered, using air quotes around the word she used to replace hickeys. Amethyst's eyes widened and she sat up straight in the chair, or as straight as she could sit since it was still backwards.

"I swear we hid them before you got back to the kitchen."

"Truth be told, I saw that you were looking at something." Peridot admitted. "But I didn't see exactly what you were looking at. Well, now I do."

"That doesn't prove your demon is real, you know." Amethyst replied with a sigh, sinking back to her position of resting her head on her arms crossed on the back of the chair.

"That's why I told you her parents' names."

"If they're the real names."

"I hope for my sake they are." Peridot shot another glance to Lapis, who decided that sitting on the bed wasn't nearly as fun as floating mid air. She nodded at the blonde.

"Oh they're real. Lloyd and Maria Lazuli. Do you need their middle names?"

Peridot decided to herself that first and last names would be just fine. She looked to Amethyst once more. "Where is Pearl, anyway?"

"She's waiting for me in the car." Amethyst answered, then stood from the chair. "I really shouldn't keep her waiting."

"Are you gonna tell her about what we talked about?"

"Dunno." Amethyst put her hands in the pockets of her jean shorts, kicking at invisible dirt in Peridot's carpet. "You know she feels bad about what she said, right?"

"I really don't care." Peridot uttered with malice. "I get it. I was being a brat. But she knows how I feel about that shit. When she apologizes, I will too. Until then, fuck her."

"You sure know how to hold a grudge.." Amethyst commented with a haphazard laugh. She made her way out of the room, but stopped just at the doorway. She looked back at Peridot, holding onto the door frame. "Oh, and that last bit you said, "fuck her"?" Amethyst started, a smirk curling her lips. "I intend to."

"Get out of my house." Peridot reached behind her and grabbed her pillow, chucking it at Amethyst. The woman dodged the pillow with a laugh, escaping through the doorway. Peridot couldn't help but smile. It was good to have someone to talk to after an argument like that, she supposed.

"You know, that's one of the few things I hate about being dead." Lapis commented after Amethyst left the room. Peridot turned to the floating girl, now able to give her full attention.

"What, you can't throw things at people?"

"Well that too." Lapis turned herself upside down, giving Peridot a curious look. "I'll never get to have sex."

"Not my problem." Peridot commented, standing and removing her pajama pants. Since no one else was going to visit her today, into the dirty clothes hamper they went. Just in her underwear and black tee shirt, she sat at her computer intent on continuing the game Lapis had interrupted before.

"Have you ever had sex?"

"Nope." Peridot answered with no shame. "I'm sure not too many people would like to fuck an amputee. Who's also an orphan. Who's also an anti social bitch. Who's also a-"

"Okay, I get it." Lapis interrupted, flipping right side up. "You're an ice queen."

"It's not like I don't have a sex drive." Peridot stated. "I used to masturbate from time to time."

"Used to?" Lapis asked, curious. "What happened?"

Peridot looked up at Lapis with a smirk. "Really? You're gonna ask me that?"

"Oh yeah." Lapis face palmed herself in mock confusion. "I forgot. I started haunting you." Peridot turned her attention back to her computer, but decided that she wasn't in the mood for the game she had planned on playing. At the moment, she felt less like a hack and slash girl and more like a peaceful, non violent one, oddly enough. So she pulled up a game that was all the rage just a couple months ago, Stardew Valley.

"You've been curious though, right?" Lapis persisted, watching over Peridot's shoulder as the blonde created her character.

"Who hasn't?" Peridot responded. "I've thought about being with guys, I thought about being with girls."

"So you're bisexual?"

"Dunno." Peridot answered, having finished creating her character. Blonde, green eyes, red scarf, green overalls and black shirt. It suited her. "I guess you'd call me biromantic. I've had crushes on both, but I won't really know what I'm considered sexually until I fuck one of em."

"Good point.." Lapis thought about Peridot's words. "I guess if you put it that way, I'm a lesbian."

"Oh great." Peridot said sarcastically. "You're not only a demon that wants me to kill myself, but I have to worry about you hitting on me too."

Lapis scoffed, crossing her arms. "I never said I found _you_ attractive."

"Do you?" Peridot asked, pulling away from the computer to fully face Lapis. The demon's voice immediately caught in her throat. Peridot's messy hair, her beautiful green eyes, the way she sat, one arm hanging limply at her side while the other rested on her computer desk.. And those legs! Lapis was glad that she couldn't blush.

"N-no. Not at all." Too bad she couldn't control her stutter.

Peridot didn't say another word. She only turned back to her screen, smiling knowingly. Who would have thought that a demon would be attracted to her target? If Peridot wasn't living it, she'd think she was in a Supernatural fan-fiction.

"What about you?" Lapis asked, crossing her arms. "Do you think I'm attractive?"

"Oh yeah." Peridot answered without missing a beat. "I'd totally fuck you if I could."

"Seriously?" Lapis asked, seemingly in awe.

"Oh yeah, yeah. I'd just love to get a hold of your sweet, succulent, beautifhahahaha!" Peridot burst into a fit of laughter, laying her forehead on her desk. Her shoulders rose up and down as she laughed, and Lapis sighed behind her, a small smile on her face.

"Couldn't even finish that sentence, could you?"

* * *

 **Author's Note: I feel like this story started off pretty well, but I've done a mediocre job of keeping it that way. Hopefully this chapter will be the start of a great story. If you have any questions or comments about the story or how I've written it, please don't hesitate to leave a review or a private message.**

 **Anyway, be on the lookout for the next chapter of Dirty Ambitions. I hope you guys are just as excited as I am. As always, so long for now.**


	7. Near Death Experience

"Oh shit!"

Under normal circumstances, Peridot would have wheeled around in her chair to see what the cause of commotion was. But instead she continued to stare at her computer screen after having come down from her earlier fits of laughter.

"I just realized that I can't masturbate either!"

At this, Peridot couldn't help but turn and give Lapis a dirty look.

"Can you stop talking about all the things you can't do to your body?"

"But I can't do anything!" Lapis yelled, raising her arms in exaggeration. Well, she was laying upside down, so it looked like the demon was throwing her hands to the ground instead. She then started counting the things she was no longer able to do in her fingers. "I can't eat, I can't drink, sleep, smoke, anything!"

"You smoked when you were alive?" Peridot asked, resting her chin in her hand.

"No, but now I can't try it!" Lapis groaned, letting her tongue hang from her mouth, arms and legs hanging limply as if she were a corpse. "Just kill me now."

"I would if you weren't already dead." Peridot sighed and turned back to her desktop. She intended to return to surfing the web for videos, or look on Steam for new games she may be able to buy, but her fingers reached toward the power button of her CPU on their own accord. She watched as her screen went black, and stared at her reflection.

Ever since the accident, she's taken better care of her skin. A shower a day, drank plenty of water, occasionally went to her backyard to sun bathe in the nude. Her fence protected her from prying eyes. The point is, Peridot found herself attractive. She wasn't a bombshell, but she was pretty. She smiled at the thought, remembering how much she hated her appearance when she was barely in her teens.

But her smile faded quickly. The reflection of the computer screen also held Lapis Lazuli. The black haired girl, laying in the air and pretending to be a corpse, had a bloody blade in her chest. Peridot quickly turned in her chair to look at the real Lapis, but found no knife.

Lapis opened an eye at the sound of Peridot's quick movements. She was surprised to see her target staring at her so intently. And her eyes.. was she scared?

"Watcha staring at me for, Per-Bear?" Lapis asked, deciding to tease Peridot about her nickname previously used by Amethyst.

"You used a pocket knife." Peridot described Lapis' suicide weapon. "One that flips open. Probably had a nail file in it too."

"Woah.." Lapis was impressed. She flipped herself upright, now resting her chin on her interlocked fingers. "You're not some sorta psychic, are you?"

Peridot just rolled to the side and pointed at her computer screen. Lapis slowly floated forward, and saw herself in the screen. But like Peridot saw, she noticed that her knife was sticking out of her body.

"Trippy.." Lapis commented. She set herself straight, standing on the floor. She lifted up her hoodie so she could see the hole that she had made just under her left breast. It was void of blood, and if one looked closely, they could see all of the damaged flesh and organs that were cut by the knife, straight to Lapis' heart. She seemed completely unashamed too, that she wore no shirt or bra under her hoodie.

"You died with the knife in your chest, right?" Peridot asked, undeterred by Lapis' nudity. "It didn't fall out when you fell in your grave?"

"Not that I can remember. It was kinda instant." Lapis looked from her wound to Peridot, smiling like a child. "So it'll show up in reflections, huh? Pretty cool, if you ask me."

"The question is, why did you keep your clothes, but not the knife?"

Lapis let her hoodie fall to cover her torso again, bringing a finger to her lips in thought. "Dunno.. That is a question, though. Maybe I'll ask the boss man when I finish my job."

" _If_ you finish your job." Peridot corrected, crossing her arms. "You're sucking at it so far."

"Don't gotta worry about how it's done, Peri." Lapis said, crossing her arms to mimic the blonde. "Just gotta get it done."

"And if you don't?"

"Well I.." Lapis paused. What _**would**_ happen if she didn't get Peridot to kill herself?

Just then, a fiery storm erupted in Peridot's room. It was so sudden. There was barely enough time to scream. Searing flames, like waves, burst through Peridot's door, soaring through her window. The heat ate at the blonde's skin like a wild beast, her arms and legs melting to the bones. With her mouth open, her scream silent, Peridot watch Lapis' form disappear from her vision as her own skull's ashes clouded her eyes.

Then Peridot could see again.

"Woah, Peri.." Lapis stood in front of Peridot as she had been before the blonde's hallucination.

Peridot realized that she had brought her legs to the chair with her body, wrapping her arms around them to feel protected. She was in a cold sweat, and it kept getting harder and harder to breathe. Before she knew it, she was face down on her floor, having fallen out of the chair.

Lapis just stood there, confused, and scared. She just witnessed Peridot convulse and scream as if she were being tortured by some unknown device. Then she calmed down, only to fall out of her chair straight through the demon girl. Lapis was scared for two reasons. One reason was that if Peridot died here, then that would have voided her contract with the devil. Peridot is supposed to kill herself. Secondly, Lapis actually feared for the girl's safety.

"H-hey Peri?" Lapis asked, kneeling beside the blonde girl. "Are you okay? You're not dead are you?"

The only answer Lapis got was a high, wheezing breath. Peridot couldn't breathe. She struggled to lift her head enough just to look at her inhaler that was on her nightstand. She tried pointing to it, to do anything that would tell Lapis she needed the breathing equalizer, but she ultimately gave up. What could Lapis do anyway?

"At least you're alive.." Lapis sighed, but her worry quickly grew again when Peridot's wheezing grew faster. Was this a bad sign? A good sign?

"Asthma was one of the her conditions in the file I gave you, Lapis."

Lapis turned to see that Mephistopheles had entered Peridot's room. He looked the same as he did when Lapis first met him, with his crimson suit, tall form, and scorching yellow eyes. She had no idea how he got there, but she didn't care.

"Asthma?" Lapis asked, looking down at Peridot again. "So she's dying?"

"Dunno, let me check." Mephisto snapped his fingers to create a small burst of flame, appearing from that flame a small hourglass. The sand in the top was nearing empty as the bottom filled. "Yup."

"Oh man.." Lapis stood and looked around the room. "She's gotta have an inhaler or something, right?"

"It's on her nightstand, but you know you can't hold it."

Lapis didn't listen after hearing where Peridot's inhaler was. She stepped over the blonde to reach the nightstand, desperately trying to grasp it in her hands, only to literally have it slip through her fingers.

Mephisto watched Lapis' struggle in confusion. In a puff of smoke, the hourglass he held disappeared. What confused him most was that Lapis had tears in her eyes.

"Why are you trying to save her?" He asked, coming to stand beside his demon.

"I don't know, I just.. I don't want her to die like this!" Lapis continued grasping at air, her arms flailing in desperation. "S-she's supposed to kill herself, right?!"

"Yeah.." Mephisto reached passed Lapis, and with no trouble at all, lifted the inhaler from the nightstand.

Lapis watched in astonishment as the devil himself turned toward Peridot, kneeled in front of her, gripped her wrist, and placed the inhaler in her hand.

"Your life is literally in your hands, Miss Olivine." He told her, letting go of her wrist. Peridot looked up from the ground, and for the first time since Mephisto entered the room, she saw him. She saw the fire that dwell in his eyes.

Peridot could hear him when he first entered her room. She wondered who he was, what he was doing here, and why he could talk to Lapis. But now she knew. The devil was in her home.

She struggled to keep the grip around her inhaler stable, bringing it to her lips. It took all her breath away just to press down on the top, breathing in to allow the medicine to enter her lungs. It wasn't much due to her current state, but it was something. Peridot took her time, catching what little breath she had, then pushed on the button again.

Mephisto stood up straight, smiling, almost smirking down at Peridot as she repeated the process. "She's a trooper, I'll give her that."

"You helped her.." Lapis whispered, not able to believe that the devil would interfere with a mortal affair.

"Yeah, well.." Mephisto rubbed the back of his neck, giving Lapis a look that a child would give his mother after doing something bad. "It's kinda my fault she got like this."

"What do you mean it's your fault?" Lapis asked, more confidently since Mephisto was acting so sheepish. She even dared to seem angry in front of Hell's ruler.

"Well you see, humans don't have a very high tolerance to the presence of demons." Lapis crossed her arms at this, an offended pout on her face. Mephisto sighed. "I mean high ranking demons, Lapis. As far as they go, you're the lowest of the low."

"Hey, I'll climb in rank quickly enough."

Mephisto smirked. "You won't get anywhere quickly at the rate you're going."

"Peri's wrists are practically slitting themselves, boss man."

"Why don't you tell that to her, huh?" Mephisto replied, gesturing his head toward Peridot. They both turned to see that Peridot had sat up from the floor, legs crossed under her, her inhaler tossed to the side, presumedly empty. She had been watching this exchange between demon and devil. At this point, nothing would surprise her.

"My wrists are slitting themselves, huh?" She asked Lapis sarcastically. The demon girl was left speechless, not actually prepared to see her target talking so quickly, and so easily.

"I, uh.. Um.."

"I gave you a hard one, Lapis." Mephisto said apologetically, crossing his arms. "I thought she was gonna be easier."

"You can talk to me directly, you know." Peridot said with a sigh, scratching her head.

Mephisto stared down at the blonde girl, and she stared back up at him. He didn't speak again. Instead, he wondered how in the world this girl was able to see him. Sure, he helped her by giving her the inhaler, but he's done that for people before. They could still never see him.

"You can see him?" Lapis asked Peridot, though not nearly as surprised as Mephisto.

Peridot nodded. "Am I not supposed to?"

"Well, it's not that you're not supposed to." Mephisto started, putting his hands in the pockets of his suit pants. This was going to be a hell of an explanation. "It's just that you can _still_ see me."

"You mean you were supposed to disappear after handing me my inhaler?"

"Something like that." He walked passed Lapis and took a seat on Peridot's bed. "You see, Miss Olivine, I only appear to people who are about to die. Or more specifically, about to kill themselves."

"So Kurt Cobain, Hitler, Robin Williams, they all saw you?"

"I had respect for the actor." Mephisto admitted. "So I let him go without showing up."

"What about me?" Lapis asked, not remembering seeing the devil before she drove her knife into herself.

The devil chuckled. "You're a special case, remember?"

"So why can I see you now?" Peridot asked. She stood from where she sat in the floor and put herself back in her chair.

Mephisto waved his hand, once again summoning Peridot's hourglass. The sand in the glass was at a complete standstill. "Let's just say you're somehow in a permanent state of killing yourself."

Peridot scoffed, crossing her arms in her seat. "Why, cuz of my asthma attack?"

Mephisto made the hourglass disappear in a puff of smoke, clenching his hand. "More or less."

"I've had plenty of asthma attacks, though."

"You've had attacks where you were able to get to your inhaler in time." Mephisto explained. "This time, it was worse because you felt yours truly entering your home to see how Lapis was doing. The reason you saw me and heard me then was because you could have asked Lapis here for her help, pointed to your inhaler, maybe."

"I didn't do that because it wouldn't have been of any use."

"Lapis is a demon, not a ghost. If she actually tried, she could pick up small objects."

"I did try!" Lapis interrupted angrily.

Mephisto leaned down and grabbed Peridot's empty inhaler from where she discarded it. Without warning, he tossed the device to Lapis. Absentmindedly, forgetting that she was intangible, she caught the inhaler in cupped hands. Her eyes widened, and as soon as she realized what she had done, the inhaler fell through her hands.

"To try is to not try." Mephisto stated. Lapis didn't reply. He then looked back to Peridot. "Don't get me wrong, Miss Olivine, bu-"

"You want me to kill myself." Peridot interrupted. "It's just that since I wasn't technically killing myself on my own terms, I wasn't gonna be able to be one of your little toys in Hell, right?"

Mephisto smiled, nodding. "You're a smart one." He then looked at Lapis. "I can see why you're so taken with her, just don't let this keep you from doing your job."

A deep blush spread across Lapis' face, and before she could yell at the devil, he disappeared. Not in a puff of smoke, or a cloak of fire, either. He was just there one second and gone the next, like blinking.

"Taken with me?" Peridot asked Lapis, smirking. The demon crossed her arms and turned away from Peridot in a huff.

"Go kill yourself."

* * *

 **Author's Note:  
**

 **Be on the lookout for the next chapter of "Dirty Ambitions". Reviews are always appreciated. :3**

 **As always, so long for now.**


	8. Odd Situations

Since her encounter with the ruler of Hell, Peridot noticed a change in her everyday life. Her sight became more accurate. It's not that her sight got better. It's just that she could _see_ more of the world. It was hard to explain. Peridot took a walk around her neighborhood to experience these new sights.

The cars in other people's driveways was one example. From where she stood, she could see every speck of dirt, every scratch, even tell how many layers of paint were under the current one.

But it wasn't just her sight that was enhanced to such a degree. Peridot's other senses evolved as well. She could understand the meaning in the noises that birds made on the roofs of houses. She could smell and interpret what kind of barbecue sauce a family was using for their medium wells steaks. She could taste the moisture in the air, and knew that it was going to rain tomorrow. But the sense that Peridot felt had changed most was her touch.

Everything she brushed against, the silverware she held, when she typed on her keyboard, even the shirt and shorts that rested on her body.. they all felt so different. She could feel every stitch in her clothing, feel whether a spoon she used was pure silver or just plated, feel the air around her as if it wasn't just air, like it was licking at her skin. This sense even extended to her prosthetic, which is supposed to be purely inanimate. Now, just like her real arm, it could _feel._ It was odd.

But most of all, she could feel the presence of the damned.

Lapis floated beside Peridot as she walked, and the blonde could _feel_ that she was there. Peridot didn't need to look to know where exactly Lapis was positioned, she just _knew._ And she didn't just feel Lapis. She could feel other beings in the air, lesser demons searching for prey. They had no form. These demons only appeared as shadows, but they were far more malicious than Lapis, even if they were less powerful.

Perhaps it was Mephisto's presence that allowed Peridot's senses to be heightened to the max. Or, more likely, it was because she was now in a constant state of near death. Like the devil explained, because of Peridot's intense asthma attack, her lungs had become so fragile that because she refused to ask for help, she was killing herself all of the time. This immortal tie with death could have put Peridot's senses on the offense, trying to keep her alive. It was hard to believe that something like that could actually happen, but hey. Life is full of surprises.

* * *

"Why are we out here again?" Lapis asked, floating in front of Peridot to talk to her face. "You're acting weird."

Peridot ignored the floating girl. She had no time for any of Lapis' shenanigans. Instead, she needed to focus on controlling exactly how intense these new senses were to her. Just being outside, under the summer sun.. Even if she knew that she wouldn't burn more easily, she felt as if her skin could boil at any moment.

"Peri, answer me..!" Lapis whined, coming to a standstill in front of Peridot. Surprisingly, when the blonde girl reached Lapis, she didn't walk through the demon like she thought she would. Lapis' form actually felt solid, and Peridot was stopped in her tracks, basically ramming her head against the demon's nose. Peridot staggered backwards, holding onto her forehead and looking at Lapis with wide eyes. Lapis was just as surprised as her target, yet she didn't feel any pain. If anything, the irritation to her nose just tickled it. Still, her mouth hung agape at the fact that Peridot actually _touched_ her.

"Holy shit." They whispered in unison, though they both thought different things. Peridot wondered if meeting with Mephistopheles even gave her the ability to touch the incorporeal. Lapis thought that she was starting to get the hang of the few things she could do with her demonic form and what little power she had. Perhaps it was a mixture of both.

After the shock had passed for Lapis, a wide grin spread across her lips. "Now I can fuck with you physically!"

The only reaction Peridot had to give to that comment was a disgusted expression. She hoped that, against all odds, this demon was joking.

"Aw, don't look at me like that, Peri~" Lapis chortled in glee, floating circles around her target. "I won't do too much to you."

Peridot sighed and continued her walk, this time ready with a response. "You know, I can probably touch you if you can touch me."

"What, saying you wanna have sex?" Lapis teased. Though at the same time, she couldn't help but let out just a little bit of an excited breath. Would they really be able to do that? Would Lapis really be able to feel alive again?

Unfortunately for the floating girl, Peridot did not find this idea as amusing. "Even if we could do that, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to fuck a demon. You're definitely attractive." Peridot paused here to take a quick look back at her floating companion, admiring the figure she had. She then looked forward to continue walking. "But sex with you would be a one way ticket to Hell. Literally."

"That's probably true." Lapis accepted this reasoning without any complaints, shrugging.

It was almost dusk. The only reason Peridot had for taking a walk outside so late was the heightened sense she received mentioned earlier. Even in the shadows, Peridot could maneuver her neighborhood as if the sun was high in the sky.

"So are you gonna tell me why we're out here now? You know, instead of ignoring that demon who's supposed to stay by you until you punch your own ticket?" Lapis did have a point. Peridot could only pretend she didn't exist for so long.

"I'm out here because I believe your boss unknowingly gave me some sort of ability." Peridot explained, to the best she could without sounding like some sort of cliché anime character.

Lapis floated backwards in front of Peridot, her expression one of confusion. Peridot sighed.

"I know, I sound crazier than when I told my friends you were haunting me, but hear me out." At this time, Peridot decided to turn on her heel and start the walk back to her house. She had _seen_ enough of the world for now. "It's like... all of my senses leveled up or something."

"So you can see and smell better?" Lapis asked, crossing her arms. "Like a dog or something?"

"Well, sort of." Peridot prepared herself to explain her situation as best as she could. "I can see how many feathers are ruffled on a bird. I can smell what that family in the house we're walking by had for dinner three nights ago. It's going to rain tomorrow, and it'll start early in the morning."

"That'll be so trippy if it's true." Lapis commented, though anyone could tell she didn't actually believe Peridot's words.

"It definitely is.." Peridot agreed. "I feel like my clothes are tearing at my skin, honestly."

"You're not acting like it." Lapis challenged, eyeing the blonde girl up and down. Peridot only lifted her right arm, her prosthetic.

"I've felt worse."

"Right, right.." Lapis should have known. Losing an arm must have been excruciating, not to mention the emotional pain of losing her parents. Well, Lapis killed her parents, but she didn't care as much as Peridot. "It was a car accident, right?"

Peridot nodded. "Was that information in my file?"

"I just guessed. I skimmed over your papers, honestly." Lapis admitted. "So do you know if your parents felt anything? Or do you think it was instant for them?"

"Well I hope it was instant. Doesn't really matter now that it's over with, though."

"Guess you're right." Lapis sighed and allowed herself to stand on the ground, walking beside Peridot. "I hope my parents died peacefully. And I hope they didn't wake up."

"You never know." Peridot replied unsympathetically. "You were asleep."

"Aw man, now I'm scared." Lapis whined, lightly pushing Peridot. Though this time, her hand phased right through the blonde's shoulder. She would have to work on that.

"Like I said, it doesn't matter now." Peridot repeated. Lapis had to agree. Her parents were dead. If they felt pain at the time of their deaths, they were free of that pain now.

"What'd you think of the devil anyway?" Lapis asked, curious. When she first met him, he seemed like he was nicer than what the Bible made him out to be.

"He's an arrogant egomaniac." Peridot spat without hesitation. "He thinks he knows everything and anything about how people feel, about how the world works. Given that he is basically one of the first beings to ever exist, he still pisses me off."

"Wow, harsh." Lapis laughed, placing her hands behind her head. "He's pretty nice, though. You heard what he said about Robin Williams."

"Yeah, about how he didn't show up to drag him to Hell when he killed himself?" Peridot asked, and Lapis nodded. "That _was_ pretty cool of him. Probably put the guy's soul to rest."

"See, Mephisto isn't so bad. He's just doing his job. People who sin go to Hell to suffer for those sins, and that's that."

"But you're enjoying your death." Peridot commented.

Lapis shrugged. "True. I guess there are some special cases. I'm sure I'll get my share of suffering eventually."

"Are you scared?"

This question left Lapis to wonder. _Was_ she afraid? Afraid of what would happen if she couldn't fulfill her quota? Afraid of being tortured in the fiery pits of Hell? She decided that yes, she was afraid. Lapis was afraid that she couldn't please her employer, she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to continue her job. But most of all, as she stared at her walking companion, Lapis found that she was afraid she'd never see Peridot again.

"I'm a little scared, yeah." Lapis finally answered. "Who wouldn't be?"

"I guess you're right."

The two spent the rest of their walk home in silence. Well, Peridot walked home, Lapis just walked to the place she was taking residence in until Peridot kicked the bucket. Soon enough, Peridot's house came back into view. With the blonde's enhanced senses, she saw that Pearl's car was in the driveway.

"Pearl's here again.." She told Lapis, obviously annoyed. "I thought she went home with Amethyst."

"Maybe she came to apologize?" Lapis wondered. She floated away from Peridot and toward the house to investigate for herself. Peridot was actually glad for the small break from her demon.

It took Peridot just a few more minutes to reach her home, where Pearl and Amethyst were sitting on the doorstep. Lapis was nowhere to be seen.

Pearl had her face in her hands, shivering while Amethyst had an arm around her shoulder comfortingly. Hearing Peridot's footsteps, Amethyst looked up and greeted her friend, her expression unreadable.

"Hey Peri."

"Not that I mind.." Peridot responded, coming to stand in front of the couple. "..but why are you just sitting outside my house?"

"Because we believe you." Pearl answered, talking through her hands. Slowly, she looked up from her hands, and Peridot was surprised to find her tutor in tears. "Lloyd and Maria Lazuli. Forty-two and thirty-nine years old, parents of Lapis Lazuli. The information just came out half an hour ago."

"Oh, so Amethyst told you about our conversation, then?"

Pearl nodded and hid her face back in her hands. "I'm so.. so sorry for what I said, Peridot. So sorry for not believing you, sorry for insulting your parents.. I'm sorry." And then she went silent.

Peridot didn't respond after this. She didn't feel the need to. It seems that Pearl finally believed her about her demon, so she decided to leave it at that.

Instead, she sat on the other side her tutor. In total silence, and complete disregard for her newly sensitive skin, she wrapped her arms around Pearl's shoulders. "I'm sorry too." She whispered.

Pearl's lips curled into a small smile, and she held onto the metal arm holding her front. All was well with the two.

"So where's this demon of yours?" Amethyst asked to break the silence. "Is she floating over your head or what?"

Peridot pulled away from Pearl to answer. "I dunno where she is. She came with me on my walk earlier, and flew ahead to the house on our way back. She might be inside."

"Well let's head in then." Amethyst stood from her spot beside Pearl, hands on her hips. "I need to give her a piece of my mind."

"For what?" Pearl asked, looking up at her lover while wiping her tears. Amethyst smirked.

"For teasing me about my babies I left on you last night."

Pearl shot to her feet in an instant. Her mixed expression of sadness and happiness was completely replaced with pure, unbridled rage. "How does she know what we did last night?!"

"Peri said she saw your neck in the kitchen." Amethyst explained, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm just as pissed as you are, babe."

Pearl whirled around to face Peridot, who was also on her feet. "You tell your little friend to keep out of our lives or I'll call a priest on her ass!"

Peridot smirked, amused at Pearl's rare swearing. It was always fun to see the collected tutor lose her cool. "I'll relay the message."

At this point, Lapis' head appeared from the middle of Pearl's stomach. "Look! I'm a C-Section!"

Peridot wasn't sure if it was the pure randomness of the act, the actual joke, or just the fact that this supposed demon hell-bent on terrorizing Peridot was acting like a child. But as soon as the words left Lapis' mouth, the blonde girl doubled over laughing. She clutched at her stomach and fell forward, almost falling on top of Pearl.

Pearl watched in anger, and Amethyst in confusion, as Peridot rolled in the grass, laughing so hard that tears filled her eyes. Lapis floated in the air above the three other women, clutching at her stomach in laughter, in much the same fashion as Peridot was. The same thought crossed their minds.

This was going to be an interesting life from now on.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **I apologize for the longer wait. I went out of town for a while, so I really didn't have the chance to work on my story, nor did I have the drive to in that time. I assure you though, no matter how long I take to update, I will never stop writing. I WILL NOT become one of those authors that just leaves a story unfinished for years at a time.**

 **Thank you all for your patience. I hope you enjoyed this chapter to "Hell Hath no Fury", and I hope you're all looking forward to the next chapter of "Dirty Ambitions".  
**

 **As always, so long for now.**


	9. Explantions and Cup Sizes

"Are you done?" Pearl asked with her arms crossed, tapping her foot as Peridot rolled in the grass.

Peridot really didn't know why she was laughing so hard. By every definition, to Peridot, Lapis was an annoying little shit. But the sheer randomness of Lapis' joke put Peridot into a fit. She felt lucky that she had already broken her glasses out of anger, because if she hadn't, they probably would have broken on the ground from her rolling around. Slowly, Peridot's laughter came to a stop.

Pearl let out a sigh of relief, glad that Peridot's laughter had subsided so that they could be serious. But Pearl's relief turned to worry when Peridot started wheezing, clutching at her chest.

"Oh.. Oh, Amethyst!" Pearl yelled. Amethyst was way ahead of Pearl, already on a full sprint towards Pearl's car. Despite being shorter, and a quite a bit more pudgy than Pearl, Amethyst was much faster.

Amethyst opened the front door to the car, crawled inside, and reached over into the glove box to grab the inhaler Pearl carried around just in case something like this happened. Amethyst grabbed the inhaler and quickly made her way back to Peridot to help her breathe.

All the while, Lapis floated above the group, watching. She had stopped laughing at almost the same time as Peridot, and Lapis' expression had turned to one of horror, much like Pearl. If Peridot was having an asthma attack just from laughing, from enjoying herself, then that meant that any little jolt could kill the blonde girl. Lapis didn't want that to happen, not like that.

But relief washed over Lapis when she watched Peridot take a breath with the inhaler. Amethyst was supporting Peridot's head in her lap, holding the inhaler to Peridot's mouth, pressing the button. Pearl was pacing back and forth, and only stopped to kneel beside Peridot and Amethyst when Peridot started coughing.

"Oh Peridot, are you okay?" Pearl asked, taking Peridot's metal hand in hers.

It took a few seconds for Peridot to properly answer. Over the next few moments, she moved to sit up, and took the inhaler from Amethyst's hand to help herself. Pearl and Amethyst waited while Peridot calmed down her lungs. Once Peridot finally spoke, it was in a hoarse whisper.

 _"She's going to kill me someday."_

"You mean Lapis?" Amethyst asked, rubbing Peridot's back. The blonde just nodded. Lapis floated above the group. She wished that she could apologize to Amethyst and Pearl, but since they couldn't see, Lapis would have to make do with having Peridot relay the information.

"I am _so_ sorry." Lapis said, hands clasped over her mouth. "I didn't think that your lungs were so sensitive.."

Peridot looked up at Lapis and gave her the middle finger. Lapis couldn't help but smile behind her hands. She knew that Peridot really wasn't that mad.

"I'd ask if you were giving Lapis the bird.." Pearl said to Peridot. "..but you probably are. It'd be a waste if we asked you every single time you talked to air."

"Yeah.." Peridot replied, rubbing her throat. It hurt her chest to speak, so she decided to just wait out the pain. Truth be told, she didn't think that laughing like that would have hurt her either. When the doctors told Peridot that her lungs had suffered some minor damage, she didn't think that the damage could escalate to this. Meeting the ruler of Hell really did a number on her.

"Well you might not have to deal with her soon." Amethyst said, standing and crossing her arms. "We called a local priest earlier, on our way back here."

Lapis almost snorted in laughter. "A priest? I think those guys are bullshit." Lapis floated down beside Peridot. "Hey, tell your friends priests are bullshit." All Lapis got in response was Peridot's middle finger.

Pearl sighed, putting her hand to her head. "I wish we could at least hear her."

"No you don't." Peridot replied quickly, taking a deep breath afterward. She could feel her lungs start to recuperate, much faster than she had anticipated. Was this also due to the devil's presence earlier? "She's annoying as Hell."

"Well she's _from_ Hell." Amethyst pointed out.

"That reminds me.." Peridot said, standing from the ground. She felt better enough to talk normally at that moment. "I met the Devil too."

Pearl sighed. "You see, I really, _really_ want to call bullshit." Peridot and Amethyst were surprised at the rare swear word from the usually clean mouthed woman. "But after everything you've told us, telling us something that wasn't released to the public until literally fifteen minutes ago, I have no choice but to believe you."

Peridot couldn't help but smile. Oddly, she felt a sense of elation knowing that her friends were actually believing her, and taking part in her new life. Even if Pearl and Amethyst couldn't see Lapis, Peridot still felt a great comfort knowing she could talk about it openly, without fear of ridicule.

"Let's go inside." Amethyst said. "We can talk all about your little scrap with the devil."

Peridot nodded and started walking toward her house, followed by the rest of the group, including Lapis. "There's not much to tell, though. He showed up, I had an asthma attack, he saved my life, and now I have superhuman senses."

"See, now _I_ have to call bullshit." Amethyst scoffed, blowing some hair out of her face. The group made their way inside the house. Pearl and Amethyst took a seat on the couch in the living room while Peridot went to grab a chair from the kitchen. And Lapis.. well she just floated there, in the middle of the room.

"I can prove it." Peridot said as she sat in her chair, facing her friends. "It's going to rain tomorrow."

"That's just a lucky guess, if it happens." Amethyst argued.

Peridot smirked. "What if I tell you what you ate last night."

"Pearl doesn't count." This statement earned Amethyst a swift smack to her shoulder from an embarrassed Pearl. Amethyst just laughed, but gestured for Peridot to continue.

"I'm serious. I can tell you every single thing you had to eat last night. From your chocolate covered pizza to Pearl's right thigh."

"Okay, first of all, you know that's my favorite food." Amethyst started, and Pearl pulled her legs together more tightly. "And the second thing was a lucky guess."

"Well I also know that Pearl didn't eat anything last night." Peridot continued, turning her gaze toward the taller woman.

"You know I don't eat." Pearl said, crossing her legs. "I take multivitamins. It's completely healthy."

Amethyst chuckled and leaned back in the couch, wrapping an arm around Pearl's shoulder. "I still don't get your texture thing with food, Sweet P."

"Well just because _you_ eat like a garbage disposal doesn't mean _I_ have to." Pearl scoffed, though leaned into her fiance's touch. "At least you don't go near my meds anymore."

"Hey, at least I can say I got my stomach pumped at least once in my lifetime." Amethyst said, sticking out her tongue. She turned her attention back to Peridot. "But yeah, I still think you're bullshitting."

Lapis sighed, having floated to the ground to lay beside Peridot and her chair. "Just tell them what color underwear they're wearing or some shit."

"I'm not doing that." Peridot replied, turning her head just to let Pearl and Amethyst know that she's talking to Lapis. "Just because I have heightened senses doesn't mean I have x-ray vision."

"Did she tell you what I think she told you?" Pearl asked. Her voice made it clear that she was annoyed.

"Yeah, she did." Peridot nodded in confirmation. "But like I said, I can't see through your clothes."

Amethyst let out a groan of annoyance. "Come on, Peri. You're not giving us anything at all!"

"Well it's hard to prove, okay?!" Peridot half shouted in exasperation. She really wanted to prove to her friends that her meeting with the devil gave her super heightened senses. "It's not like we have a lie detector around, or anything."

"Can't you tell if someone ish lying or shomething..?" Lapis asked mid-yawn.

Peridot.. actually liked that idea. She leaned forward in her seat, smiling widely at Pearl and Amethyst. "Lapis just gave me the best idea. Lie to me."

"You mean we'll tell you some lies and truths, and you'll tell us which ones they are?" Pearl asked. Amethyst chuckled.

"That's just guess work, Peri. It won't prove a thing."

"How many times do you think I'll be right before I mess up?" Peridot asked. "I guarantee you that no matter how many things you tell me, I'll always be right in saying whether it's a lie or not."

Pearl thought about this offer for a moment. Of course, she was positive that even if Peridot were to guess correctly in whether she and Amethyst were lying or not, there was no possible way for Peridot to be correct one hundred percent of the time. Even not thinking about the statistics, it was just purely illogical. So, in that moment of thought, Pearl decided that telling Peridot different lies and truths would be childish, and she wouldn't indulge in the activity. Amethyst, on the other hand..

"My boobs are double D cups."

"Amethyst!" Pearl scolded. "Even if this _is_ to indulge in Peridot's little game, it's far too inappropriate to mention your... chest size."

Amethyst smirked. Pearl knew instantly what was going through her girlfriend's mind.

"Amethyst, don't you da-"

"And Pearl's boobs are B cups."

Pearl let out a noise that could be considered similar to the squawking of a bird, but Amethyst and Peridot payed no mind. Lapis, though, rolled in the air, laughing.

"Both of those are lies." Peridot said. She found it incredible at how easy it was to see through Amethyst. Before, when someone would tell her something that was false, it took hours, maybe days for the liar to come clean about what they had said. But now, Peridot noticed every little detail concerning Amethyst and her lies. The sound of Amethyst's blood rushing through her veins, how the pulse doubled in speed, if just for a split second. Peridot saw Amethyst's jaw lower just a fraction of a centimeter. Amethyst's pupils dilated, just a fraction of a diameter wider than they were before. So many hidden tells that Peridot had never seen before came to light with her gifts from being eternally near death.

"Good job, Peri." Amethyst said, clapping her hands in mock applause. "Mine are actually just regular D. Pearl's are C." Pearl sighed and put her hand to her head, submitting to the fact that nothing would stop Amethyst from embarrassing her.

"You lied about yours again." Peridot said, indicating that Amethyst only told the truth about Pearl's breasts.

"Alright, alright." Amethyst put her hands up in defeat. "They're E cups. I still think it's all guesswork."

Peridot sat back in her seat, sighing. "You don't have to believe me. I know I'm telling the truth. I'll get it."

"Get what?" Lapis and Amethyst asked in unison. Peridot stood from her chair and made her way to the front door without answering.

Peridot opened the door to see a rather plump man standing on her doorstep, his fist raised in preparation to knock. He was a bald man, at least from the front. All of his hair rested in the back of his head, at least three feet of it pulled into a long ponytail. He wore an all black outfit, aside from his collar, which had a white, square band in the middle. He even wore a black jacket over his black button down shirt. Peridot wondered how he wasn't dying too, considering the heat lately. The only accessory he wore was a silver cross around his neck. She assumed this was the priest that Pearl and Amethyst had called.

"Oh! Uhm.." The man seemed a little taken aback at having the door opened before he even knocked. He immediately clasped his hands together in a formal fashion, after coughing into them awkwardly, in an attempt to be polite and look professional. "Hello, my child."

"Please don't call me that." Peridot said. "Seriously."

The man looked embarrassed, rubbing the back of his head. "Oh, uh.. Yeah.. I mean, of course."

It was clear to Peridot that he was a socially awkward man. Still, she was impressed that he was able to ascertain such a high position of respect. Peridot stood aside to allow the man into her home. He took the invitation graciously, if to get out of the heat.

"Oh, Father Gregory!" Pearl stood from the couch and wrapped her arms around the man's shoulders, who Peridot now knew was named Greg. Greg wrapped his arms around Pearl's waist in turn, letting out a laugh. A laugh, that Peridot could tell, was entirely genuine. As soon as Greg saw Pearl, all of his awkwardness disappeared and was replaced with confidence. Peridot would never get over how amazing it was to see these changes to such an extremity.

"Oh, Pearl, I'm so glad you're here." Greg said in apparent relief. It seems that he really didn't want to confront Peridot and her demon alone. When he looked toward the couch and saw Amethyst raise a hand in a lazy greeting, his smile grew even wider. "Hey Amethyst! Been a while. Pearl talks about you all the time."

Pearl's face lit up in a blush as she let go of Greg, and Amethyst just smiled. "What, does she confess her sins for being engaged to me or something?"

"You know I only did that when we started seeing each other." Pearl scoffed as she folded her arms and returned to her seat beside Amethyst. "I was confused, and afraid.."

"I know, Sweet P, don't worry about it." Amethyst wrapped her arm around Pearl's waist and pulled her lover closer. Greg smiled at this, then turned his attention toward Peridot.

"So you must be Peridot." Greg extended his hand, and Peridot took it with her metal arm. Whether he noticed the arm or not, Greg didn't say anything about it. "The girl with the demon."

"That's me." Peridot confirmed, pulling her hand away. She pointed her thumb behind herself to Lapis, who was making silly faces at Greg. "And this is my demon, Lapis."

"I see.." Greg stared in the direction that Peridot was pointing, and for just a split second, Peridot thought that Lapis could be seen by this man. But that was just for a split second. Lapis was only allowed to be seen by Peridot, after all.

"I honestly don't know if I can do anything about this." Greg said, reaching a hand out toward Lapis.

Cockily, the demon girl stood her ground, smiling coyly. "Get a load of this guy, Peri. Thinks he can tou-"

As soon as Greg's fingertips passed through Lapis' incorporeal form, she shrieked and disappeared. Not in a puff of smoke, or in some sort of flash. Lapis simply vanished. But even though Lapis disappeared by sight, her pained scream stayed. Peridot covered her ears, closed her eyes, and dropped to her knees, as if overcome with agonizing pain. Of course, she was only trying to drown out that horrid screech. Peridot didn't even realize when Pearl and Greg came to her aid, even with her hyper senses. When she opened her eyes, she found that she was being put on the couch, her friends and Father Gregory standing over her with worried expressions. But what she saw passed them chilled Peridot to the core.

Lapis was on the ceiling, in such a position that she looked as if she were clinging onto it backwards. The look in Lapis' eyes is was scared Peridot. Lapis, cool and cocky demon, looked completely and utterly terrified.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **I apologize for the wait. I really have no excuse. I woke up this morning and this chapter had 1,500 words from all the time I've spent on it, and I finished it today with almost 3,000. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

 **Be on the lookout for the next chapter of Love is Weird. As always, so long for now.**


	10. What is Evil?

**Quick Note:**

 **Remember, this is pure fiction. If this chapter offends anyone of a certain religious belief, I apologize. It's not my intent to insult or butcher any religious quotes or facts.**

* * *

"Lapis..?"

Peridot was worried for the girl on the ceiling. Lapis was so scared, terrified even, of Father Gregory. What had she felt when he reached out for her? Did she feel pain? What could possibly hurt a demon? So many questions Peridot needed answered. But before she could ask them, she had to answer the question being asked of her by Pearl and the others.

"Peridot, are you okay?" Pearl asked, worry clear in her expression. Amethyst stood beside her, arm wrapped around Pearl's waist, and Greg stood on the other side of Amethyst, also worried for Peridot.

"Did Lapis hurt you?" Greg asked.

At the mention of her name, Lapis twitched. She wanted so badly to flee from this house, to get as far away from this priest as possible. But she knew she couldn't. Lapis knew that the punishment for running would be far worse than Greg could ever do to her. A priest was nothing but an ant compared to Satan himself.

Peridot wanted to cry. Seeing Lapis' position, the expressions on her face, it tore at Peridot's heart. Normally, seeing someone in such a state wouldn't move Peridot so. But with her heightened sense of sight, she saw every little detail in Lapis' despair and fear.

"No." Peridot answered Greg, staring up at Lapis. "You hurt her.."

"Well.." Pearl said, biting her lip. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"She's annoying, but she's not dangerous." Peridot sat up and put her hand to her forehead, propping herself up with her metal arm. "I want you to apologize to her."

"I.. don't know." Greg backed away from the couch, twiddling his thumbs uncomfortably. "Wouldn't apologizing to an servant of Hell be a sin?"

Peridot looked up to see that Lapis' gaze never left Greg's form. She watched him carefully, as if she were a mouse caught in a corner by a very hungry cat. Lapis didn't move an inch from her spot, afraid to even blink in the presence of this man that could... she didn't know _what_ he could do. Lapis only knew that he was dangerous. Peridot didn't want the demon girl to feel so threatened, even despite everything else.

"Ask for forgiveness and ye shall be forgiven." Peridot quoted.

Greg nodded. Even if it wasn't word for word, Peridot was right. He sighed and clutched at the silver cross around his neck with both hands. "Forgive me Father." Greg whispered, then he looked up to the ceiling to where he assumed Lapis was, based off of Peridot's direction in which she was looking. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. It wasn't my intent. I was only trying to feel your spirit."

"Well I fucking felt yours." Lapis hissed in utter loathing. She knew Greg couldn't hear her, but she definitely felt a little better addressing her rage directly toward him.

But despite Lapis' rage, Peridot smiled at the hint of relief in the demon's eyes. Slowly, Lapis came down from the ceiling to sit on the couch beside Peridot. Unconsciously, she searched for Peridot's hand to hold for some sort of comfort. Neither of them even noticed that they could actually feel each other. They just let it happen, Peridot's hand on top of Lapis'. Their hands lay in such a way so that the others wouldn't be able to tell what was going on by seeing Peridot's hand.

"Thank you.." Peridot said to Greg. "Lapis appreciates it."

"Like Hell I do." Lapis spat out, placing her free hand behind her head as she leaned back into the couch. "Tell him his fat ass better not come near me anymore." Peridot ignored this request, despite thinking that Lapis was in the right.

Greg sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "I really don't want to hurt anyone. I thought you wanted her exorcised."

"You thought." Peridot repeated. "So did Pearl and Amethyst. Did any of you think to actually ask me what I thought of my new roommate?"

"Well..." Pearl paused, rubbing her neck. Amethyst avoided making eye contact.

"Hey, in my defense, I was just called here." Greg said, earning a light slap to the shoulder from Pearl.

Peridot sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Okay, I get it. Normally, anyone would want to get rid of anything that has to do with the words "demon" and "haunting", but honestly, I don't."

As Peridot talked, Lapis couldn't help but smile. Hearing that she was actually wanted in the house.. it felt good.

"Yeah, Lapis has only been here for a little more than a day." Peridot continued. "And she does try to get me to kill myself. And she's one of the most annoying people I've ever met. And she's a servant of Hell. And I can't do anything to stop her if she wants to mess with me when I'm taking a shower or something. And-"

"Alright Peri, I think they get your point." Lapis interrupted.

"-and I feel like if she leaves, I'll be sad."

The group, including Lapis, looked at Peridot as if she had gone crazy. And honestly, Peridot felt as if she had. Sad? For not having a demon girl haunting them?

"I know how crazy it sounds." Peridot continued after letting everyone get their "you're fucking insane" looks in. "But I just can't get the feeling out of my head that, since Lapis came into my life, it's starting to get better."

Lapis chuckled nervously. "Well, I should probably leave then. I'm supposed to make you commit suicide, not bring you peace."

"There are a lot of things I have to think about." Peridot continued, ignoring Lapis. "But I do know that I want Lapis to stay. To keep haunting me, I guess. But I wanna thank you guys for considering me. Any normal person would wanna be free of their sins and demons as soon as possible, but we all know I'm not normal." She looked between Greg, Amethyst, and Pearl, smirking. "Well, two of you know I'm not normal. You'll probably learn soon enough, Father Gregory."

"Just call me Greg, kiddo." All matters of formality were out the window, as far as Greg was concerned. He sighed and backed up so that he could lean against the wall. This visit was tiring. "This is the first time I've had someone tell me they _want_ to commune with something from Hell. At least, this is the first time someone's told me that who isn't in some sort of satanic cult."

"Hey, I can still start one." Peridot said with a smirk. "The Cult of Lazuli. Sounds good to me."

"Don't even joke about that." Pearl said, though she couldn't help but smile. She knew Peridot was just joking, after all. Amethyst, however, wanted to contribute to that joke.

"You know most cults need a virgin's blood, right? And by my count, you're the only virgin in here."

"Well I don't know about that." Peridot said, shooting a glance at Lapis. The demon girl was just enjoying the conversation until that moment. She flew up from the couch, floating in front of Peridot with her fists balled at her sides.

"Peri, don't you dare."

"Lapis is a virgin too." Lapis' face blew up in a blush, and she crossed her arms and turned away from Peridot, bringing herself back down to the couch. The blonde put a finger to her lips in thought. "But she is dead, so unless I wanna go grave robbing, my blood would have to do."

"I'm not surprised, honestly." Pearl stated, completely ignoring the joke about the cult now. "When I saw her body, she looked pretty young. I think she was seventeen?"

"Are you seventeen?" Peridot asked, turning to look at Lapis. "I mean, I guessed you were, but you never actually told me how old you are."

"I was seventeen when I died, yeah." Lapis confirmed with a chuckle. "Feels kinda weird saying stuff like that."

"Like what?"

"Like me being dead. I never really think about it, but it's weird. I was just alive two days ago, and I'm still here, but.. I'm not."

Meanwhile, while Lapis and Peridot are having their little conversation, Greg had come to stand beside Pearl and Amethyst again. "This is so weird.." He whispered to them.

"You're telling me." Amethyst whispered back, watching as Peridot talked to Lapis. To anyone else, the blonde teen might seem crazy.

"Sometimes I still think she's faking it, honestly." Pearl said.

Peridot turned her head from Lapis, having picked up Pearl's little comment with her heightened sense of hearing. "I heard that."

"I still don't believe you have super hearing." Amethyst stated nonchalantly, placing her hands on her hips.

"Super hearing?" Greg asked, and Pearl sighed.

"Before you arrived, Peridot informed me and Amethyst that not only does she have a demon, she's also met the Devil. Through their meeting, she-"

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU MET SATAN HIMSELF!?" Greg interrupted Pearl in the loudest yell she or Amethyst had ever heard from the man. Greg addressed this shout to Peridot, who's eyes were wide with surprise. Greg continued.

"How could you have _possibly_ let the Devil into your home?!"

Peridot's surprise was replaced with anger and annoyance in a matter of seconds. "You think I _let_ that bastard in my house?"

"That's the only way for him to enter." Greg explained. He grasped the silver cross hanging around his neck. "James 4:7."

"Submit yourselves therefore to God." Pearl quoted, crossing her arms. "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. From the King James Version."

Peridot sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was being given many reasons to be annoyed today. Then she stood from the couch, releasing Lapis' hand and using her metal arm to point an angry finger at Greg.

"Okay, you may _think_ some little trinket and saying "away from me, demon" over and over again is gonna keep the devil away from me, but there's a lot more to it than that."

"But the bible says-"

"The bible doesn't mean shit to experience." Peridot spat, and Greg looked visibly offended. "I _saw_ him. And surprise, he didn't look like the naked man with a goat's legs and head that's all over the internet. He wore a nice, red suit, had bright orange hair, and eyes so yellow that just looking in them made me feel as if I were falling into the fire they originated from. Do you even know _why_ he paid a visit my house?"

Greg just shook his head, stunned into silence. Even Pearl and Amethyst watched Peridot's ranting in astonishment, and Lapis was practically frozen where she sat out of sheer surprise.

"He came to my house because he wanted to check up on Lapis. He literally wanted to see how his employee was doing her job. Given, his appearance did make me hallucinate a bit. I saw nothing but fire. My walls burst into flame, the very air turned to ash, and my skin started melting from my body. I had an asthma attack because of that."

"Why didn't you-" Pearl tried to interrupt, but Peridot cut her off.

"I didn't call you because I couldn't. That attack was the worst I've ever had in my life. I almost died. That's the impact Lucifer has on _anyone_ he visits, whether it's to see them or one of his freaking minions. You wanna know the crazy part though? He saved me. He literally took my inhaler from my nightstand and placed it in my hand. Normally I'd owe him my life, right? My very soul? No. He saved my life because he was about to cause my death. Despite everything you know, he didn't try to weasel a deal with me, he didn't try to take me to Hell then and there. I honestly think he could have! The devil himself was in my room, I'm pretty fucking sure that God himself couldn't stop him from dragging me to Hell if he wanted to. But he didn't, because against all odds and belief, he's a pretty decent guy. Yeah, he's got demons roaming around, trying to get people to kill themselves or do other horrendous activities so that he _can_ take their souls, but those are people that are leaning on the edge anyway! To be completely honest here, I was gonna blow my brains out when I turned twenty one anyway!"

"Woah there.." Amethyst barely even whispered.

"Oh Peri.." Pearl felt tears stinging her eyes, bringing her hands over her mouth. Greg just stood there, perplexed, unsure of what to say or do. And Lapis, she just slowly stood from the couch. Peridot clutched at her hair, tears threatening to fall. She didn't want to cry. She didn't want to be angry, not after earlier today. But she was just saying these things, and she couldn't stop.

"I had this whole thing planned out. When I turned twenty one I was gonna buy a handgun, then get the heaviest, most expensive, most alcoholic drink I could afford, get drunk off my ass, and put a bullet through the back of my head."

"W-why.." Pearl started, timidly. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"I don't know.." Peridot answered truthfully. "I mean, my life sucks, but it's not like it's terrible. I have you, and Amethyst, and I love you both to death. I couldn't imagine living without you, but you guys have so many more friends. You're literally all I've got." Peridot sighed and straightened her posture, wiping her eyes with the palms of her hands as a child would. "That's.. I guess that's why I'm defending Lapis so much, and even Satan. I didn't let him in my life, he just waltzed in. You can't stop someone like him, you just can't. But he's not bad either."

"I.." Greg started, finally finding his voice. "I half agree with you. There's no controlling the devil. But being raised a devout Christian makes it difficult to believe that the devil is anything but evil."

"T-that's fine." Peridot said, smiling through her tears. "As long as you understand."

"But.. Killing yourself, Peri?" Amethyst asked. "How can you just, plan for something like that?"

"Like I said, I don't know. I really don't." Peridot answered. "You two are amazing to me. There's really no logic to how a person feels, I guess."

"But you won't do that... will you?" Pearl asked.

Peridot almost found it cute. Like somehow, confessing about her suicide plan to her friends will suddenly cure whatever is making Peridot feel this way. If only it were that simple.

"No.. Not for a while, at least. My plan was when I turn twenty one, remember?"

"But not tonight?" Amethyst asked, scared that Peridot's earlier outburst might have been some sort of trigger.

"No." Peridot answered with a genuine smile. "Not tonight. Trust me, if I ever do it, I'll call or text you. Maybe give you time to talk me out of it, or save me."

"That's good, at least." Amethyst said with a sigh. She shook her head, then grabbed Pearl's hand. "Let's go home, P. I think we're done here."

"What? No." Pearl seemed offended that Amethyst would even think of leaving Peridot in these circumstances. "Peridot needs us now more than ever!"

"Actually.. I just need some sleep." Peridot said. When Pearl looked Peridot over, the blonde did seem exhausted. Of course she'd be, though, after what she just went through. "I won't do anything stupid tonight. I promise."

"B-but.."

"Come on." Amethyst said, giving Pearl's arm a tug. "Peri's never lied to us before. Not even about little Smoky."

"I know.. I know." Pearl sighed and smiled gently at Peridot. "I trust you." Then she looked at Greg. "Father Gregory, it looks like your services weren't needed after all. Would you like to come over for tea?"

Peridot and Amethyst knew that Pearl wasn't really okay with this. She was being overly formal, the way she usually got when she was uncomfortable. But they knew Pearl would be okay. She always was.

"Oh, uh.. Of course." Greg stumbled over his words like before, and Peridot knew that this meant he was uncomfortable as well. Without another word to Peridot, Pearl, Amethyst, and Greg started making their way out of the house. Peridot closed the door behind them, and that was that. The conversation was over. There was nothing more to be said between Peridot and the other members of the living. Lapis, on the other hand..

"Who's Smoky?"

"Pearl and Amethyst's cat." Peridot answered. She started walking back to her room, intent on climbing into bed and taking a well needed nap. Or a coma, depending on if she decided to take one tylenol or two tonight. "Accidentally pressed down on her too hard while I pet her. She was a kitten then, broke a couple of her legs. She's well and good now, though, just can't jump too high or it hurts her."

"Oh. Okay."

Then silence. For the next few minutes, as Peridot prepared herself for bed, not a sound was made. Only rushing water when Peridot brushed her teeth. Only the rustling of clothes when Peridot undressed herself down to her underwear. Only the slight squeak of her mattress when Peridot climbed into her bed, pulling her blanket over her body. It was only when Peridot finally made herself comfortable that Lapis broke this silence.

"Hey Peri?"

"Hm?" Peridot responded, not bothering to lift her head from her pillow.

"Can I be your friend?"

"..I dunno. You _are_ trying to get me to kill myself."

"Well, from what you said, sounds like I wasn't even needed."

"Guess not."

Another moment of silence passes. Peridot tries to enter the dream world she oh so loved, but somehow, she knew that Lapis would interrupt the silence again.

"Hey Peri?"

"Yes Lapis?"

"I just.." Lapis paused, and Peridot could bet that the demon girl was doing something with her hands out of being nervous. Why couldn't Lapis just spit it out? She's been so good at it before. What, a demon can't think of a few words they wanna speak? That should be easy for them, shouldn't they? Demons should be able to get their point across because they're heartless, moral less, monst-

"..thank you. For what you said back there. About me."

"Dunno why you're thanking me. I mostly talked about your boss."

"No, I mean before that." Lapis said with a chuckle. "About.. how you might be sadder if I leave. How I make your life better, in some fucked up way. Thank you."

After those words, silence fell once more. Lapis stayed quiet, though Peridot could feel her still in the room. Despite every fiber of her being screaming at her to just shut up and get some sleep, Peridot just couldn't let the day end like that.

"..you're welcome."

* * *

 **Author's Note:  
**

 **I feel like this chapter got a little hectic in the middle, but I hope you guys like it, either way.**

 **Anyway, be on the lookout for the next chapter of "Pearl's Rejuvenation." If anyone has any questions about any of my stories, or just wanna talk, feel free to message me.**

 **As always, so long for now.**


	11. Lust

The time during Peridot's nap was long, at least to Lapis. She hung in the air, curled up in a ball as she spun. She could enter Peridot's dreams if she wanted, but she didn't want to torture the girl as much as she already had by just being there. In reality, Lapis felt terrible.

Peridot's emotions were such a jumble that Lapis had no idea what to make of them. Sometimes, Peridot would be calm and collected no matter what was thrown at her. Other times, the tiniest little push could cause her to throw a tantrum and smash whatever she could. Was she bipolar? Was that, perhaps, the reason she had planned to shoot herself when she turned twenty one? Lapis had no idea, but she did know one thing. If Peridot was going to kill herself, Lapis wanted to see a smile on her face. Lapis doubted herself. Was she really cut out for this?

"Yo Lapis." Lapis stopped spinning in mid air. Upside down, she turned herself around to face Peridot's doorway, where Mephistopheles stood, hands in his suit pants pockets. "How are things goin'?"

"I dunno." Lapis answered truthfully, turning herself right side up. She averted her eyes from her boss, sighing. Even though she knew she was breathing, she didn't feel anything in her lungs. She missed that sensation. "I just feel so bad for her. She was going to kill herself anyway, when she was old enough to drink."

"Yeah?" Mephisto asked, grinning. His eyes seemed to glow in excitement. "So she's gonna check herself in anyway?" Lapis nodded. Mephisto took his hands from his pockets, clapping them together. "Great! I'll set you up with someone else then."

" _No!_ " Lapis shouted in desperation. She then covered her mouth, looking behind her at Peridot. When the blonde didn't seem to be bothered by Lapis' shouting, she turned back to Mephisto. He had crossed his arms in this little interval, and for the first time since Lapis had met him, he was scowling. His eyes had lost their excited glow and now held nothing but the pure yellow that normally accommodated them.

"Whaddya mean 'no'?"

"I-I mean..." Lapis didn't want to go against the devil's orders for fear of punishment, but she also didn't want to leave Peridot's side. An idea popped into her head, but she doubted it would work. Still it was worth a shot. "I... I can get her to do it sooner."

Mephisto studied Lapis, looking her up and down. After a few seconds, he returned his hands to his pockets, sighing. His eyes softened. "Kid, I ain't stupid."

Lapis let herself drift to the ground, looking up at her boss. She held one of her hands over the other in a pleading fashion. "Okay, I just wanna spend more time with her, but I am still trying. I'll make her do it before she said she was going to just, let me do this, please."

Lapis closed her eyes after she finished making her request, expecting to be thrust in the fiery pits of Hell. She expected to be stripped of her demonic rank and torn asunder, ripped limb from limb for the rest of eternity for going against the devil's wishes. But when no pain befell her, she opened her eyes once again. Mephisto stood, holding an hourglass.

"You have twenty four hours." Mephisto set the deadline, and Lapis' eyes widened.

"B-but.. I don't think I can- " Lapis cut herself off when the devil started laughing. Mephisto's lips curled, and he doubled over, the hourglass vanishing. Lapis watched in confusion as her boss had a laughing fit. What was so funny? Did he find humor in giving Lapis such an impossible task as to make someone kill herself in under twenty four hours? She held her nonexistent breath when Mephisto finished his laughing fit, standing up straight and wiping a tear from his eyes.

"I'm just messin' with ya kid." He admitted. "Really, the concept of time is something you humans came up with. I really can't wrap my head around it."

"Seriously?" Lapis asked, all fear replaced with disbelief. "But you have hourglasses."

Mephisto conjured up another hourglass. Since it was at a stand still, Lapis assumed it was Peridot's. "All the sand hits the bottom, you're dead. Simple as that. It's not like we know exactly when someone's gonna die, just that they're getting close."

"So you really can't tell time?"

"Oh I know all the words." Mephisto began, counting on his fingers as he spoke. "Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, millennia; all those. I know what they are, it's just far too troublesome to learn how to transfer that knowledge to all I've known. It's just night and day to me." He finished, returning his hands to his pockets.

"That's so messed up." Lapis said, pinching the bridge of her nose. That seems to be a habit she picked up from Peridot. "What about what I asked?"

"Listen, I like you, kid." Mephisto started, scratching the back of his neck. "I really wanna pull you off of this job, give you someone else. But if you're so intent on hanging around your little love interest, I'll let you."

Lapis' face glowed in a blush as she threw her fists down. "She is _not_ a love interest."

The devil grinned. "Kid, I've been at this for eons. You like her. You think you don't, but you do."

"Whatever." Lapis crossed her arms, turning her head away from her boss. _Did_ she like Peridot? It's only been a couple of days, and all Peridot has really done that Lapis found even remotely attractive was strip for bed. But she had to admit, the blonde girl had a banging body. Before she knew it, Lapis was biting her lip, her mind wandering. Then she shook her head, facing Mephisto once more. "So what now? You're obviously doing a favor. You already have my soul, what else can I give you?"

"Well I'm not opposed to a bit of flashing." Mephisto said. Lapis couldn't tell if the devil was serious or not. But she didn't get a chance to answer, as Peridot spoke from the bed.

"Yeah, how about no?" Lapis and Mephisto looked to see that Peridot had sat up, resting an arm on her knee while propping herself up with her metal arm. Her bloodshot eyes and frown made it clear that she was tired, grumpy, and not to be trifled with. "She's still underage."

"Yeah, but she's also dead." Mephisto countered, then scratched his chin in thought. "That doesn't really defend my case, though, does it?" Before Peridot could continue defending Lapis, the devil put his hand up, silencing her. "I was just joking anyway. You seriously think that I don't see enough naked women and men in Hell?"

Peridot didn't dignify Mephisto with a response. Instead, she laid herself back and faced the wall again, pulling her blankets over her head. It was obvious to present company that she wasn't going to fall asleep that quickly, but Peridot just didn't want to deal with any of the devil's shit.

"So..." Lapis started, turning back to her boss while twiddling her thumbs. "...no flashing?"

Mephisto shook his head. "Like I said, I was just messin' around. Plus you're girlfriend is pretty terrifying."

"Fuck off." Peridot said, voice muffled from under her blankets. The devil chuckled, backing out of the room.

"See? Terrifying. Anyway, Lapis, I came here cause I forgot to tell you that you have the weekends off. It's almost Saturday, so there's that."

Lapis cocked her head to the side, utterly confused. "I get days off? Demons get days off?"

"Sure do." The devil waved his hand. A calendar appeared out of a sudden burst of flame, much like his hourglasses. "Oh, and I was lying about the whole not knowing time, thing. It's been around since the beginning of humanity, I can't believe you actually believed me."

But Lapis had stopped listening. On the current month of the calendar, August, was a picture of a scantily clad woman. She had pitch black hair, wearing a bikini that was just as black. Her lips were blood red and her skin was as pale as the Himalayan snow. Lapis thought this woman was absolutely gorgeous, and just looking at her picture stirred a fire inside Lapis.

"Who's she?" Lapis asked. She could feel her face grow hot, and held her hands over the hole in her chest where her heart would be. Even though she shouldn't be able to feel them, Lapis thought that her legs would give out from under her at any moment. She had to know who this woman was. She had to meet this woman! "Is... is she a demon too?"

"It's best you turn away while you can, kid." Mephisto responded, running his finger down the calendar. "That's Lust, one of the seven sins. Look at her for too long and you'll be wishing you could kill yourself all over again just to be with her. Or him, depending on your preference."

"So..." Peridot had just decided to stay awake and converse with the demons in her home. They obviously weren't going to just leave, so she couldn't really go to sleep, especially not when her hearing was so astute after the first incident with the devil. She sat up in her bed, one leg hanging over the side, her other leg bent on the bed. "...everyone sees Lust differently?"

"That's right." Mephisto confirmed. He found the date he was looking for in the calendar, and turned back to Lapis. The demon girl was still staring at Lust. Mephisto sighed, snapping his fingers in front of her face, making her blink. "Stay with me, kid, I don't need a broken employee."

Peridot stood from the bed. With all the noise, she may has well make an effort. She came to stand beside Lapis, taking her own look at the calendar picture of Lust. "I don't see what the big deal is. It's just the Statue of Liberty."

" _That's_ what you see?!" Lapis shouted, tearing her eyes from the calendar to stare at Peridot in disbelief. The blonde girl smirked.

"Nope. You really think I'm gonna tell you what I see as Lust?"

"Oh you bitch!" Lapis swung at Peridot, but the blonde swayed away. Somehow, she knew that if she had stood still, she would have actually been hit by Lapis' incorporeal form.

Mephisto watched in astonishment as the teenagers quarreled. It was all but impossible resist the temptation of Lust's appearance, even if it was just a picture on a calendar. It was amazing enough that Peridot just didn't let Lust's appearance phase her, but to even pull Lapis from Lust's spell? The devil crossed his arms and the calendar disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Well I'll be damned if I wasn't already."

Lapis stopped trying to hit Peridot and turned toward her boss. Her smile was just as wide as Peridot's. "What about you being damned?"

"You guys are soulmates."

"Yeah, you've told us." Peridot said, placing her hands on her hips. "Jokes over. You can go back to Hell now. I need my sleep."

Mephisto shook his head, clasping his hands together. "Miss Olivine, you took Lapis away from Lust. That act in and of itself is literally impossible. The few people who have seen Lust in Hell spend the rest of their eternity fighting each other for her affection. Lapis completely forgot about her just because you made a joke."

"It was just a picture." Peridot countered. "I wasn't affected. Maybe it's because Lapis is a demon."

"You weren't affected because you were thinking about Lapis." Mephisto explained. Before Peridot could reject his words, he continued. "Not directly, but you had her in your mind when you made that joke. You wanted to get her attention, and that kept you from getting hypnotized by Lust."

"So you're serious?" Lapis asked. She could hardly believe it. She and Peridot were soulmates? "You mean like... we're meant to be together?""

"Well, not necessarily together." Mephisto returned his hands to his pockets. "It's just that your souls are entirely in tune with one another. It's pretty rare to find the two souls that go together so perfectly like yours. It doesn't have to be romantic, it doesn't have to be about friendship, it doesn't even have to be about hating each other. Your souls just... complement each other, in such a way that as long as you're close to one another, you can't get corrupted by sins like Lust, or angels like Samael."

"Well our souls must not be that aligned." Lapis commented, crossing her arms as she looked at Peridot. "You're not resistant to Sloth or Wrath, that's for sure."

"I like sleeping." Peridot said with a shrug, then addressed Mephisto again. "So, yeah. Get out of my house."

"Lady, you are one weird human." Mephisto said with a laugh. The devil began to wave his hand over his body. As his arm passed over his legs, they disappeared. Then his torso, his other arm. Before his head vanished from sight, Mephisto spoke. "I can't wait to see you in Hell." And then he was gone.

It was odd, watching someone literally wipe himself from existence, but at this point, Peridot didn't care. She's seen far too much in just two days to let the devil get to her. She turned and began walking back to her bed, stretching her arm of flesh and blood over her head with the assistance of her metal limb. "I'm going back to bed."

"You just woke up, though." Lapis said, watching as Peridot lifted her blankets and climbed into her bed. From the sound of her voice, seeming almost desperate, Peridot could tell that Lapis wanted to talk about something. It was almost sad, hardly being surprised by anything anymore due to her enhanced senses. She lay in the bed, facing Lapis, propping her head up with her hand.

"What do you wanna talk about?"

Lapis felt her bloodless face heat up. Even without blood, she could still feel a blush, even if it wasn't visible. She averted her eyes from Peridot, twiddling her thumbs. "Oh, uh... nothing, really. You can go to bed if you want."

Peridot didn't know why Lapis thought she needed to lie. The demon girl should know that Peridot could tell lies from truths with facial expressions, body language, and blood flow. Given that Lapis had no more blood to give, she still had a body. The blonde weighed her options.

On one hand, Peridot could call Lapis out on her lie. Lapis would either continue to deny that she wanted to talk, or Peridot would be pulled into a conversation she never wanted to be in in the first place. On the other hand, Peridot could take Lapis' bluff and just go to bed. Lapis would then either call Peridot back, or let her sleep. Either way, it was going to be a coin toss. And with her luck, Peridot was bound to get the wrong side.

"I can tell when you lie, remember?" Peridot asked, deciding to call her new roommate's bluff. "Talk to me."

"I'm not used to talking, though." Lapis said. It seems as if Peridot lost the coin toss. Lapis gripped the hem of her hoodie, squeezing and twisting it. "I mean, not about important stuff. I can go on and on about how I chase down a bird and shoot it with a little bow. I'd watch it fall and smile. If it was twitching, I'd snap it's neck. I told you about how I hate hurting others. I wanted to make it painless."

"Get to the point." Peridot demanded, impatient and ready to return to her dreams.

"Can I kiss you?"

Peridot arched an eyebrow, and Lapis looked surprised at her own words. She pounded her head with the palm of her hand, physically and verbally scolding herself. With every few words, her hand connected with her face. "Stupid, fucking stupid. Shoulda thought about it, this is like the whole fucking _I'm a demon_ thing again, what the fuck am I thinking? I know what I'm thinking, you're pretty, my boss went off about that whole soul mate thing, I never had my first kiss, this is just bullshit. Forget I even said anything. I mean I still want you to kill yourself, I would love to watch the life drain from you, but I dunno, I wanna have fun while I can? I guess I'm just like a stereotype demon, sex crazed, selfish, a fucking piece of- "

"Sure."

Lapis stopped hitting herself to stare at Peridot in disbelief. The blonde had sat up in her bed again. Despite being annoyed, she was rather amused by Lapis' bemused stare. She could practically hear what the demon girl was gonna say already. "What?"

"I said..." Peridot started, fixing her bra strap which had fallen down her shoulder. "...sure. You can kiss me."

"Seriously?" Lapis asked, and Peridot nodded. "I-I mean I'm glad you're okay with it, but we just met like, two days ago."

"You said I'm pretty." Peridot said, repeating Lapis' words. "And it's not like we're gonna be girlfriends after one kiss."

"Have you ever kissed anyone?"

"Mhm." Peridot confirmed, nodding. "Girl named Jasper. Before I starting homeschooling after the whole... incident with the car crash, we used to be best friends."

"Well how'd it happen?" Lapis asked. Peridot shrugged.

"It was like a T.V show, really. I helped her ace a test she needed to try out for women's basketball. She got her results, hugged me when she found me outside after school, and I just kissed her."

"That wasn't the thing that ruined your friendship, was it?"

Peridot shook her head, smiling, almost sadly. "Nah, it was me. She actually asked me out after that, and I said yes. A few weeks later, my arm is missing and my parents are dead. She visited me while I was in the hospital, and I was grateful for it, but I knew that focus more on my studies since I don't really have any relatives to take care of me. I broke up with her from my hospital bed. She understood, thankfully, and we shared a goodbye kiss, but I haven't seen her since I got out of the hospital and moved here."

"Well I'm glad things went as well as they did." Lapis said, taking a seat beside Peridot. The blonde noticed that the bed creaked, as if Lapis actually had a form, but she decided not to say anything. "It could have been a lot worse."

"Oh I know, trust me." Peridot said, leaning back on her arms. "She was pretty forgiving. Who knows, maybe I'll see her again and we'll get back together. Might keep me from killing myself."

"Well here's hoping that doesn't happen. Can't keep the boss man waiting for you." Lapis commented, crossing her fingers. "I mean, being a demon, you gotta have- " But Lapis didn't get to finish her sentence.

Peridot, not wanting Lapis to remember that she was a demon and become incorporeal again, quickly grabbed the back of her head and pushed their lips together. Lapis' eyes widened, and for a split second, she simply forgot herself. She had thought that all of those sappy love stories where people felt fireworks go off in their heads was just a myth. But now, with Peridot's lips on hers, just the slightest bit of tongue to force Lapis' back to tense, the demon girl mentally apologized to every romance writer she had killed in her imagination.

Closing her eyes, allowing herself to practically go limp, Lapis allowed Peridot to take control of the situation. She found out that she quite liked kissing. It was odd, though. The feel of Peridot's lips sucking on her own, of Peridot's tongue, it was all different from what Lapis had imagined it to be. Was this because she was dead, and shouldn't be feeling these things in the first place?

As soon as the thought had crossed Lapis' mind, the feeling of Peridot's lips disappeared. In that instant, Peridot smacked herself in the face, her hand having fell through the back of Lapis' head. The blonde grabbed her nose, standing from the bed as she danced in pain. "Aw, shit! Fuck, ow ow ow!"

"I am _so_ sorry!" Lapis exclaimed, floating from the bed, hands covering her mouth. "Was that your metal hand? Oh gosh, I hope your nose isn't broken."

"You bitch!" Peridot yelled, making her way to the bathroom to inspect her nose. It certainly felt normal, but she didn't know if she was bleeding. Lapis followed. "I was actually enjoying that, and then you decide to realize _Hey! I'm fucking dead and shouldn't be able to do these things!_ Fucking, ow..."

"I didn't mean to!" Lapis defended herself. "I really liked it, it's just that it felt weird. Like not what I thought it was gonna be, you know? I thought it might be because I'm dead and, well, you know!"

"Screw you." Peridot said as she inspected her nose in the mirror. Luckily, it wasn't broken, but it was definitely going to be sore. It just seems like her extra sensitive skin made her more susceptible to pain as well. Fantastic. "Gonna need a fucking ice pack, fuck."

"You swear a lot when you're mad." Lapis commented. Peridot held her nose again to stop any bleeding that may occur. She made her way to the kitchen, intending to grab an ice pack from her freezer and wrap it in a paper towel.

"Fuck you." Peridot said as she opened the freezer, Lapis having followed behind her.

"I said I'm sorry!" Lapis watched helplessly as Peridot held the ice pack to her face. "I'd let you hit me if I could."

"Whatever." Peridot sighed, making her way to the living room to sit on the couch. She sighed, leaning back into the sofa as she let the ice pack rest on her face. At least she wasn't all that mad anymore, Lapis thought. She thought about sitting beside Peridot, but decided against it. The blonde probably didn't feel like being close to Lapis at all at this point. But there was one thing she wanted to say before she left Peridot alone.

"It was nice, though. The kiss."

Peridot looked at Lapis with her one eye not covered by the ice pack. Though Peridot's mouth was covered, Lapis thought she could see the faintest smile from Peridot's eyes.

"Yeah." Peridot said, her voice slightly muffled. "It was."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Apologies for taking so long to get this out. I'm trying to make my chapters longer than my usual two or three thousand words.**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Watch out for the next chapter of Dirty Ambitions.**

 **As always, so long for now.**


	12. P0RN

All in all, Peridot could be in a weirder situation.

Despite being haunted, in a permanent state of killing herself, having literally met the physical manifestation of the Devil Himself, Peridot felt that things could really be a lot worse.

Pearl and Amethyst were great friends, and even Greg grew on Peridot. The priest visited her from time to time to see how she was holding up. He wanted to make sure Peridot's claim that Lapis was not hurting her held up. Peridot appreciated the gesture, but she told Greg time and time again that she was fine, that Lapis was as docile as a demon could possibly be.

Though friendly visits could definitely be annoying at times. Since Peridot's little episode, Pearl and Amethyst called constantly. Like with Greg, she appreciated the gesture, but being told to not kill herself almost twenty-four – seven was a tad exhausting. If anything, the constant reminders that she was obviously not in her right mind and could cave at any moment was not all that helpful; more harmful, really.

"Listen, I love you guys." Peridot said to Pearl during one of these particular phone calls. She sat at her kitchen table, shirtless and only wearing a bra and blue baggy shorts. Lapis lazily hovered in the air behind Peridot. "But please leave me alone. I'm not doing it today."

" _I know, but we're worried about you!"_ Pearl exclaimed. _"Suicide is a one way ticket to Hell. And that's not even in question after what you went through!"_

"I know that." Peridot said, pinching the bridge if her nose. "I know I told you I planned on shooting myself, and I know that doing that's literally gonna torture my soul for pretty much all eternity, but I'm not even old enough to buy a hand gun yet."

" _That's not helping!"_ Pearl practically screeched, forcing Peridot to hold the phone away from her ear. _"I just want to help you, to- to make you not even think of such a thing!"_

Peridot groaned. "I'll go to a fucking help group, okay?! One of those things where people sit around in a fucking circle and pour their shitty little hearts out so they can magically make them feel better about their mediocre lives. Is that what you want?"

Lapis chuckled dryly in the air, laying on her stomach. "I think that's a little too far, Per-Bear."

Peridot thought Lapis was right as soon as the words left her mouth. Pearl took longer than usual to respond, and Peridot could just make out the sound of a quiet sob when Pearl finally said something.

"…I'm sorry."

Pearl hung up before Peridot could say anything. She sighed and leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. All she wanted was to be left alone. She regretted telling her friends about her suicidal thoughts in the first place.

"Not going well?" Lapis asked, seemingly sincere as she floated down to sit in the chair across from Peridot. She's slowly getting better at trying without trying, as Mephisto put it.

"I'm a total bitch." Peridot replied. "I know she wants to help me, and she's fucking terrified for me, but what can I say? "Oh, I feel better, totally not planning on killing myself anymore?" I can't lie to her."

"It's kinda her fault for not trusting you." Lapis scratched the inside of her ear with her pinky, which, in all honesty, is a completely useless movement concerning that she's a spirit. "I mean, you're one of her closest friends and you told her you wanted to put a bullet in your head. Not to mention you're haunted by a demon, a.k.a me, and she doesn't know shit about how I look or how I act aside from your vague descriptions of me. But screw it, she totally shouldn't worry about you and call you a lot to make sure you're safe."

Peridot sighed and pushed with her legs, letting her chair fall back. The back of her head hit the hard tile floor. She gasped and grabbed her head, curling into a ball and rolling on the floor, almost in complete agony. Heightened senses meant a lowered pain tolerance. Lapis hovered above the table, head in her hands as she watched Peridot writhe.

It was hard, trying to appease someone when they're so worried about someone else. All Peridot wanted was for Pearl to believe she was okay, and not to worry about anything Peridot might do. Even so, Peridot worried about how Pearl worried about her. Why did life have to be so damned difficult?

"Careful Peri." Lapis scolded, her lips curled in a smirk. "You might kill yourself doing that."

"Wouldn't make much of a difference at this point." Peridot groaned from the floor. She lay face down on the kitchen tile, her pain subsiding as she thought about the circumstances. "I should call her back."

"You should text her." Lapis corrected. "I don't know all of the phone call, but you called yourself a bitch. Meaning, she's upset. If she's as upset as I think she is, she's probably not in the mood to talk at the moment."

Peridot turned on her back, looking up at Lapis. "You watch Sherlock a lot when you were alive?" Lapis shrugged.

"Only a couple of episodes. Why? Am I that good of a detective?"

"You wish." Peridot stated flatly. She stood up from the floor and grabbed her phone from the table. She took Lapis' advice, deciding to text Pearl rather than call her.

 _Hey, sorry for being bitchy._

Peridot waited a few seconds before adding on to her message.

 _I appreciate that you worry about me, I really do, but I need my space. Calling all the time to make sure I'm not going off the deep end… it doesn't help. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but please call in moderation._

Now all Peridot could do was wait. Of course, waiting on a dear friend to text back was always the absolute worst when the situation wasn't positive.

"Anyways…" Lapis stifled a yawn. "Can we go do something? It's so boring here."

Peridot chuckled. "You're a demon who can practically fly wherever you want and you're bored?"

"Let's go over the list, shall we?" Lapis hovered to the floor, holding up an imaginary piece of paper and adjusting imaginary glasses. "As a demon, I cannot physically come into contact with any living being or inanimate object. With enough practice, I could, but that's not the point. I cannot talk to anyone aside from the person I am haunting at this very moment. I cannot eat, sleep, drink, smoke, or do any other daily activities that humans may partake in. And as far as I know, I can't masturbate and/or have sex." Lapis finished with a click of her tongue, then put a finger to her lips in thought. "Then again, in most forms of religion, denizens of Hell can be pretty sex crazed and have tons of orgies. If I wanna get fucked, maybe I should ask the boss man for a vacation."

"You think he'll give you a vacation before you even finish your first job?"

"That's… a good point." Lapis crossed her arms. "Wanna do me a favor and help me out by killing yourself?"

Peridot didn't answer. Her phone buzzed, and she decided to ignore Lapis and read the text she received. Oddly enough, (or not, given the circumstances,) it was a message from Amethyst.

 _Yo. me and P are watching movies 2nite, wanna cum?_

Peridot smiled as she typed out her response.

 _First off, no matter how convenient, please don't spell "come" like that. Secondly, I'd love to. Am I walking or are you picking me up?_

"You stop that." Lapis scolded. Peridot raised an eyebrow at her. "That… smiling thing."

"How about fuck you?" Peridot replied, forcing her smile to be wider to the point of almost being painful. Lapis stuck out her tongue, and the pair laughed.

Despite everything, Peridot felt that all would be well. Amethyst had invited her to a movie, assuming Pearl would be along for the ride as well. Peridot would apologize properly, and hoped that the couple would get the idea that she needed her space. Even with the threat of depression and suicide looming over her, Peridot could still have fun. She could still enjoy the life she had left. She could still love living and love her friends. Who knows? Perhaps she would find more reasons to not end her life prematurely.

Of course, the actions of thinking about life and death could be a trigger in itself, so Peridot pushed those thoughts to the side.

"So what did Pearl say? Does she hate you now?" Lapis asked, a seemingly innocent smile on her face.

Peridot shook her head. "I don't think so. We've been friends for a while, it'd be hard to make her hate me."

"Kiss Amethyst." Lapis suggested. "Then she'll definitely hate you."

"Amethyst is hot, but not hot enough to make her cheat on Pearl with me."

"Well you're right about Ames being hot, at least. I'd do her."

Peridot smirked. "She's engaged to a very religious woman who has her priest on speed dial. You don't wanna get mixed up in that."

"Yeah, you're right." Lapis raised her hands in defeat. "I don't even know how to describe what happened to me. Like, it felt like that fat bastard was squeezing my soul or something."

"I was surprised he hurt you that badly, honestly." Peridot paused. "Maybe we could ask your boss about it."

Lapis smirked, crossing her arms. "What, are you gonna draw a pentagram and use your virgin blood to summon him?"

"Holy shit." Peridot said. _Would_ that work? She practically ran to her room, fully intent on taking Lapis' faux suggestion. Lapis followed, trying to hold back her laughter while she watched Peridot rummage through her desk drawer.

"You're seriously doing this?" Lapis asked. Peridot nodded, pulling a black, thick Expo marker from her desk drawer. She walked toward the blank wall in her room, across from her bed and window, the wall adjacent to her bedroom door and desktop computer. She uncapped the marker with her mouth and began drawing on her wall. One large circle, the size of her body, and an upside down star. Peridot could hardly believe that she was actually going to attempt to summon Satan like some sort of cultist. That is, until she heard Pearl's car pull up into her driveway.

"We'll do this when we get back." Peridot stated. She grabbed a black tee shirt with a green alien on the front. Peridot slipped on some tan colored sandals and made her way out of the house, clothing herself as she went.

"Those super senses come in handy, huh?" Lapis asked rhetorically as she followed Peridot. She saw Pearl step out of her car, and guessed that Amethyst was in the passengers side. "Where you headed with your buds?"

"Amethyst asked if I wanted to go to the movies." Peridot replied over her shoulder. She rushed over to Pearl, and before the taller woman could even utter a word, Peridot wrapped her arms around Pearl.

"I'm sorry."

Pearl was shocked, to say the least. She had intended to be the first to apologize, to assure Peridot that her privacy was hers and hers alone. Well, hers and Lapis'. She never would have expected Peridot to be the first to admit she was wrong. Even Amethyst stared wide eyed with surprise. Peridot pulled away, looking Pearl in the eye.

"I was selfish. I was annoyed because you called me so much, but I didn't think about how you'd feel if you called one day and I didn't answer. I can imagine how afraid you would be."

"Where's this coming from all of a sudden?" Pearl asked, still in complete and utter astonishment. Using context clues, especially from the last phone calls and texts she received, Pearl didn't think Peridot had given much thought, if any, to exactly how afraid Pearl was.

"I just…" Peridot paused, gripping her arm. "I heard you pull up and something kinda… clicked in my head. I panicked, and wondered what I'd say to you. When I came out here and saw you, I just wanted to make things right. Heh, this is probably how you felt when you insulted my parents."

"Oh sweety, no." Pearl pulled Peridot into another hug. "I was wrong to call you so much. Being so persistent, it could go one of two ways. More than likely, if I continued, I probably would've driven you to suicide myself."

"Don't you dare blame yourself." Peridot ordered. "If- if it does happen. You're gonna be the furthest from being at fault."

Pearl and Peridot held the embrace for just a few more seconds before Peridot pulled away. She looked passed Pearl to Amethyst. "What movie did you guys wanna see?"

"Oh dude!" Amethyst exclaimed excitedly. She described the movie as Peridot and Pearl entered the car, Peridot behind Pearl. "I talked Pearl into watching a skin flick!"

"No way." Peridot said in disbelief. When Pearl stayed quiet, hoping to ignore the conversation as she focused on pulling out of Peridot's driveway and heading on their way, Peridot repeated herself. "No way!"

"Yes way!" Amethyst said, smirking. "Took a helluva long time to convince Pearl to watch a movie like that, and even longer to let you join in!"

During the exchange, starting from when Peridot hugged Pearl, Lapis remained quiet. Despite wanting Peridot to kill herself, she didn't want to interrupt a tender moment. But now, as she "sat" behind Amethyst and beside Peridot, she smirked. It was her time to shine.

"Oh, Peri, I think Ames here is trying to get in your pants."

"Pfft, only if she wasn't engaged." Peridot replied, and Lapis stuck out her tongue. "But why _did_ you wanna invite me to something like that?"

Amethyst shrugged. "I like porn. It doesn't really get me off or anything, it's just hilarious. You ever seen "Gay Brothers?" Oh my god, it's so fucking funny."

"I know that one." Lapis explained to Peridot. "It's this dude laying in bed, jacking off, and his brother comes in and he's like "Anthony?!" And the dude jackin' it, Anthony is all like "It's gotta get that big dick of yours." It's pretty funny."

"Maybe we can watch one that Lapis _won't_ spoil for me." Peridot said, pretending to be annoyed.

"Hold on." Pearl started. "I almost forgot she was haunting you. What was the context of what you said earlier, about "if she wasn't engaged"?"

"It was nothing, really." Peridot brushed off Pearl's question. "So we're not going to a theater? I'm pretty sure adult theaters are out of business since the internet exists."

"Yeah, we're headed to our house." Amethyst confirmed. "You wouldn't believe the blooper reels that some porn can have. Hell, sometimes it's not even sex. We might watch a vid of a chick having her tits slapped by a piece of meat over and over again."

The car began to slow to a halt as Pearl turned into her and Amethyst's driveway. The couple's house was seemingly smaller than Peridot's. When she had first seen the house, Peridot was surprised to find that it was smaller than her own. She had figured that Pearl and Amethyst, being two people, would want a larger, more comfortable abode.

" _We sleep in the same bed anyway."_ Amethyst had explained. Peridot thought that was reasonable. Comfy didn't necessarily mean large.

"Aside from the… pornography." Pearl seemed to despise even saying the word. She turned in her seat as she parked her car to look at Peridot. "Please tell me what that context about your earlier comment. It's eating at me, and I'd rather not live one of those drama shows in real life."

Peridot sighed. "It's nothing, Pearl. Lapis here made a joke that Amethyst was trying to get me in bed because she invited me to watch porn with you guys."

"And you said what you said because…?"

"She's hot." Peridot said nonchalantly. "If you weren't together and I was a "friends with benefits" type of girl, I'd totally go for it."

"Aww, Peri! That's so sweet!" Amethyst said, putting a hand over her chest.

Pearl clicked her tongue. "Alright. Let's go pick out a movie." She turned off the ignition and exited her car. Amethyst, Peridot, and Lapis watched as Pearl practically stormed into the house, fists balled at her sides.

"She's totally jealous." Lapis said, floating out of the car behind Peridot.

"She shouldn't be." Peridot replied, then turned to Amethyst. They walked together toward the house. "I mean, I'm not planning on stealing you from her or anything. That'd be impossible."

"She'll get over it." Amethyst assured. "She's just kinda protective is all. You know she got us kicked out of a restaurant 'cause she hit a waiter who flirted with me?"

"No shit?" Peridot asked, following Amethyst into the house. The inside was even smaller than the outside. The living room and the kitchen were connected by an doorway, and the only other doors lead to the bathroom, the only bedroom, and outside. There was a sliding glass door in the kitchen to lead to a small back yard, but aside from that, it wasn't all that glamorous. Of course, the house itself was about as spotless as one would expect when someone like Pearl lived their. The decorations were slim to none, aside from a crucifix above the T.V and a few choice verses from the Bible framed along the wall. A picture of Pearl and Amethyst sat on a nightstand beside the couch. Pearl was practically beaming in the picture, proudly brandishing the engagement ring Amethyst had given her. Peridot couldn't but be infected by Picture Pearl's excitement.

"Yeah, no shit." Amethyst confirmed. "Let Pearl tell you about it." She made her way to her bedroom, most likely to rummage through the porn she had.

"Tell you about what?" Pearl asked from the couch. She had taken a seat and crossed her arms and legs. She was obviously not in too good of a mood.

"Well first of all…" Peridot started. She continued standing, not wanting to be rude and sit without permission in someone else's house. "You know I'd never do anything to harm your relationship, right?"

"Yes I know." Pearl said with a sigh. She uncrowded her limbs and leaned back in the couch, making herself more comfortable. "I know, and I shouldn't be jealous. Just the very thought of possibly losing her, to _anyone_ … it hurts."

"Well you've got nothing to worry about." Peridot assured. "Anyways, tell me about that waiter you beat the shit out of."

"Please watch your language in this house." Pearl requested.

Lapis hovered in front of Pearl. "Pussy, cock, bitch, shit, damn. Damn you to Hell, Hail Satan!"

Peridot ignored her demon. "Alright, your house, your rules. Does that apply to Amethyst too?" Pearl nodded. "But not towards porn, apparently."

"Videos and actions at the moment in this house are entirely different." Pearl stated. "And before you even mention my and Amethyst's more intimate actions, we _are_ engaged."

"Alright alright." Peridot gave in. "Anyway, tell me about that dude you beat up."

"I was hoping you'd forgotten that…"

"So it did happen?!" Peridot finally gave in and sat beside Pearl on the couch. "You hit a waiter for hitting on your girl?"

"In my defense, he was incredibly obnoxious!" Pearl exclaimed. "I may have gotten us kicked out, but I wrote a _very_ strongly worded letter to that place. Mentioned him by name too, so I hope he gets what's coming to him."

At that moment, Amethyst entered the living room again, carrying a single DVD. Peridot guessed it was a burned disc because it had no cover image of any kind.

"Get ready to laugh, guys." Amethyst said, sliding the disc into the player and grabbing a remote. "You are about to witness the greatest porn blooper compilation on the face of the Earth."

After Amethyst sat beside Pearl, Lapis made herself comfortable. Well, as comfortable as she could be, being an intangible being. She laid herself across the three other girls, propping her head up in Peridot's lap. "Does someone have any popcorn? I could go for some popcorn."

"I forgot you were here." Peridot said, looking down at Lapis. In all honesty, it was easy to forget something existed when it usually hovered above and out of sight.

Amethyst pressed "play" when the screen came on. "Oh yeah, it's a two way deal with you. Wherever you go, Lapis goes, huh?"

"I can't say I'm particularly happy about that." Pearl stated. The video started, and the scene was of a woman zipping a man's pants down to free his penis. "But I guess I can't make her leave, can I?"

Peridot shrugged. "Guess not."

"I am _really_ close to your crotch right now." Lapis said randomly.

Peridot's retort was interrupted when, while the woman on screen had a dick in her mouth, the camera man screamed _"WOO SUCK THAT COCK!"_

Lapis snorted, which made Peridot laugh, and in turn started a domino affect. Even Pearl, who Amethyst didn't think would sit through five minutes of naked men and women, chuckled.

Despite everything, while laughing, Peridot thought she could be in a weirder situation.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hey guys, this story is back too! As always, tell me what you think. I personally think the middle was a little rushed, not enough actions, too much dialogue, but hey, it works for now. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and please don't hesitate to leave me any sort of critique or review.**


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